She tried to pull away from him, but his hands stayed firm on her upper arms. She could feel goosebumps breaking out all over, her body shivering in spite of his warmth. It had been so long since she’d been this close to a man. But that wasn’t what made her heart beat wildly. It was this man. The blond-haired, easy-going Romeo next door.
Stop it Juliet. Stop it.
‘I’m fine.’
He brushed his thumbs along her biceps, the sensation only making her shiver more. He really needed to let go of her now, before she made a fool of herself. She was a grown woman, a mother, and they were surrounded by children. There was no way she should be feeling like this.
‘I’m fine,’ she said again, this time managing to pull herself from his grasp. She looked around at the kids. They were all safely seated. As he’d predicted, more than one of them had fallen asleep. ‘Thank you.’
‘You’re welcome.’
She pulled her knees up to her chest, circling her arms around them, turning herself into a ball. The ground ahead looked more uneven than ever. There was no way she was going to fall into him again.
Even if it felt too good. Or especially because it did.
‘I do miss London, yes,’ she said, trying to get back on track. ‘I miss my family, of course, and I miss my friends. But more than anything I miss that feeling of belonging, of having grown up somewhere and knowing it inside out. I might have been living here for more than six years, but I still feel like a visitor.’
He wrinkled his nose up. ‘I can’t imagine living in one place for my whole life. There’s a big world out there.’
‘I’d be too afraid to travel the way you have,’ she told him. ‘I need to know where I’m going. I can’t imagine turning up in a new country and having no idea where I’m going to sleep that night.’
‘That’s the fun part. It’s only scary the first time. After that you know that no matter what happens, you’re going to be okay. So you might have to sleep in a few bus stations, or on a dusty road, but you’ll still wake up in the morning and be fine. The sun will come up, the world will keep turning.’
‘But you decided to settle down anyway,’ she said, trying to ignore the drumbeat of her pulse in her ear. ‘You’re here after all.’
‘Until June. Then we move to New York.’
‘Oh. I’d forgotten … ’ She trailed off. Picking up a piece of straw, she rolled it between her fingers. It was the colour of the sun, golden and light. ‘I remember you saying that at the ice cream parlour now.’ She licked her lips. ‘What’s in New York?’
‘I’ve been offered a long-term contract as a principal photographer for a magazine. Plus I’ll be doing some freelancing too – there’s a lot of work up there.’ He raised his eyebrows. ‘It’s a change for us both, settling down in one place, but Charlie needs some stability now he’s in full-time education.’
‘Aren’t you worried about him having to start all over again at a new school?’ she asked.
‘Should I be?’ Ryan frowned.
She regretted her words immediately. They came from her own anxieties, not his. ‘No, you shouldn’t. Children are adaptable.’ After all, look at how quickly Poppy had adjusted to their new home. ‘I’m just a helicopter parent sometimes. Always worrying about something.’ She winced. ‘And now I’m worrying about worrying, which is so crazy I should shut up.’
‘Maybe I should worry a bit more,’ Ryan said, smiling at her. ‘I know I can come off as too laid back sometimes.’
The ride was coming to an end. The tractor pulled up to the steps, moving forward slightly until they were aligned with the trailer. Nearly every kid had fallen asleep on the hay.
‘I’ll tell you what,’ Ryan said. ‘Maybe you can teach me to worry a bit more, and I can teach you to be more laid back. Between us we might just make it work.’
Between us. ‘That sounds good.’ It really did. And if she could just stop her body from reacting to him, and put him firmly in the friend zone, it might even work out.
He reached for her hand, shaking it firmly, his lips still quirked up in that sexy smile. ‘In that case, London, it’s a deal.’
8
There is a tide in the affairs of men,
Which taken at the flood, leads on to fortune
– Julius Caesar
‘Your first lesson is how to take your kid out on a boat without panicking.’
Juliet blinked, trying to focus on Ryan as he stood at her front door. He was wearing long, navy shorts and a white shirt, his sleeves rolled up at the elbows. Dark glasses covered his eyes, shielding them from the October sun. Though the leaves were changing colour, the temperature remained unseasonably warm. Yesterday they’d hit the high seventies.