Her eyes softened. She was still standing on the bottom step of his deck, her face inclined towards his. ‘I know you’re not that man. I honestly never thought you were. I was just surprised, that was all. And my life’s such a mess at the moment. With the divorce from Thomas, and trying to get my business running, everything’s so up in the air. I wasn’t expecting any more complications.’
Ouch. ‘I don’t want to make your life any tougher than it already is.’
Without him asking, she walked up the steps and sat down next to him on the old couch. He felt the warmth of her arm against his.
‘I don’t think you could make it any worse,’ she said, leaning back on the cushions. ‘I keep telling myself that this time next year, everything will be better. I’ll be divorced, the business will be established. And I’ll be used to not seeing my daughter every other weekend. This is all just a transition, right?’
Her hand was resting lightly on her leg, only inches away from his. He resisted the urge to slide his fingers between hers, even if it was only a sign of friendship.
‘Is Poppy with Thomas this weekend?’ He hadn’t seen the little girl since school the previous day.
She nodded. ‘Yeah. They’ve gone to the family beach house. We used to spend a lot of time there when Poppy was smaller.’
‘That must be tough.’
Slowly, she nodded her head. ‘The house feels empty every time she leaves, and it’s all a reminder of what I can’t give her any more. A family, security. The peace of knowing where she’s from.’
Ryan shifted again. ‘You think you can’t give her those things? Don’t you know what a good mother you are?’
‘I try my best,’ she said. ‘But I can’t give her the thing I always wanted for her. My family was torn apart when I was still a kid. We were left with only one parent who never really showed any of us he loved us. And though I had my sisters, all I really longed for was the perfect family. When we had Poppy I thought I had my chance to do things right this time.’
‘There’s no such thing as perfect, London.’ He kept his body still, determined to maintain the space between them. ‘I was brought up in a nuclear family. I watched my father belittle my mother every day, or so it seemed. I watched her slowly disappear in front of me. And I couldn’t wait to leave that family behind, because no matter how perfect it might have looked from the outside, it was killing me. So don’t go around looking at all those married couples with two point four kids, or whatever the hell it is, and think everything’s amazing behind closed doors. Because it’s usually anything but.’
Juliet opened her mouth to ask him more, but the clouds behind his eyes stole the words from her mouth.
‘It can’t all be a lie can it?’ she questioned. ‘There must still be some good people out there somewhere.’
‘Of course there are. I’m looking at one of them.’ The clouds cleared a little, but there was still a tinge of sadness to his expression.
‘I think you’d find a lot of people around here who disagree.’
‘Ignore them. I don’t care what your ex thinks, or what anybody else has to say. I know you’re a good person, and so do Poppy and Charlie. You should, too. Nobody else is important.’
‘You’re such a good liar.’ She gave him a conspiratorial smile. The easiness between them had returned, and it felt as if a weight had lifted from her shoulders. She’d missed seeing him in the past week, even if she’d been deliberately avoiding him. She’d missed his friendly banter and his eye-crinkling smiles. And now she was sitting next to him again, it felt as though she could breathe without it hurting.
‘You’re so typically English. You can’t take a compliment to save your life.’
‘And you’re so all-American I bet you dreamed of being the quarterback at school.’
His eyes narrowed. ‘I was running back, for your information. And my parents would argue I’m very un-American. I’ve spent most of the last fourteen years out of the country. I can imagine what they’d say if they knew I’d danced the tango until dawn in a square in Buenos Aires.’ He laughed. ‘Or put a flower behind my ear for that matter.’
‘You danced until dawn?’ She lifted an eyebrow. She couldn’t imagine him throwing himself into a tango. ‘Really?’
‘Do you find that hard to believe?’
She shrugged, trying to hide her incredulity. ‘I don’t know. You just don’t seem like the dancing type.’
‘Don’t be fooled by the jock exterior, babe, when I’m on a dance floor these hips don’t lie.’
‘A jock who quotes Shakira?’
‘I dance like her as well.’
She burst out laughing. ‘Oh stop it. You forget, I’ve been married to a jock. He couldn’t throw any moves to save his life.’
Ryan leaned forward, until his face was inches from hers. ‘Just because I like sports doesn’t mean I don’t like dancing. I can like more than one thing, London.’ His voice softened when he said her name.
‘Seeing is believing,’ she said, pointing at the open deck in front of them. ‘Dance for me now.’