‘It was just a mom from school,’ he said, his voice reassuring. ‘So there might be a bit of gossip, we can live with it can’t we?’
‘You make it sound so easy.’
‘That’s because it is.’
Her stomach rumbled, reminding her she’d hardly eaten a thing. ‘It isn’t,’ she said, her voice tight. ‘It isn’t easy at all. They’ve only just stopped talking about me splitting from Thomas, now they have something new to talk about. Susan’s probably texting all the other moms right now.’
‘So what? Let them gossip.’
She sighed. ‘You don’t understand. Thomas is just looking for ammunition to use against me. We have mediation next week, and if he finds out about us … ’ She trailed off, squeezing her eyes shut. She didn’t even want to think about that. ‘It looks bad. Really bad.’
‘He can only hurt you if you let him,’ Ryan said, his voice low.
‘What?’ Juliet frowned. ‘Are you saying this is my fault?’
‘I’m not saying it’s anybody’s fault.’ It was Ryan’s turn to sigh. ‘I’m just pointing out that you can’t control what he does to you, but you can control your response.’
‘And how do you think I should control my response when he’s making everything so difficult? Do you think I wanted to be a single mom? None of this was my choice, Ryan.’ She bit her lip, trying to stop the tears from forming in her eyes. Not that she felt sad, oh no. She was furious.
‘No, it wasn’t your choice. But what would you rather happen? Do you want to get back with him? Is that why you’re worried about him finding out?’ There was an edge to his voice she hadn’t heard before.
‘Of course I d
on’t want to get back with him.’
‘So why does it matter if you chose this or not?’ Ryan was drumming his hands on the wheel. ‘When you’re where you want to be?’
There was a tic in his jaw that seemed to be in rhythm with her speeding pulse. His eyes were narrow, his brow furrowed. His reaction to her words seemed over the top. As if he was …
Jealous?
Her mouth felt dry, her lips cracked. Was it really possible he was jealous of Thomas? Neither of them had spoken much about their relationship, they’d been too busy keeping things on the down low for that. They weren’t dating, they weren’t exclusive, they weren’t anything.
And yet, the thought of him being jealous sent a jolt of excitement through her, dissolving her anger into thin air.
‘It doesn’t matter, I guess,’ she said, calming down. ‘And I am where I want to be. I just hate the uncertainty of it all. Knowing that Thomas can use Poppy to hurt me.’
‘I wouldn’t let him hurt you. You should know that by now.’
‘I don’t need a knight in shining armour,’ she reminded him.
Ryan nodded, his expression serious. ‘Yeah, well there are different ways to be a knight. Maybe I can be the sort that stands behind you and supports you, telling you that I’ll be here for you.’
Her breath caught in her throat. ‘Maybe you could.’
He steered the car to the right, pulling into his driveway, the headlamps flashing against the white stone of his house. When they came to a stop, he slid the stick into park, but instead of turning the engine off, he turned to look at her instead. ‘You are so much stronger than you think, London. And on top of that you’re a good, kind person. I believe in karma, and that your asshole of a husband will get everything that’s coming to him. But sometimes you have to help karma along a little bit.’
‘So what should I do?’
‘Believe in yourself the way that I do.’
There he went with his sweet tongue, letting the words trip out and tangle their way around her heart. What was it about this man? He seemed to know exactly what to say to make her swoon.
And it was working.
21
Is this the generation of love?