Absent in the Spring (The Shakespeare Sisters 3)

She clenched her teeth together, trying to imagine what Malcolm would say in response. The thought of it made her feel sick. She’d spent her whole life working to get where she was now. Years of study, followed by years of working all the hours God sent to rise to the top. The thought of jeopardising it all scared her to death.

But the thought of not being able to see the man in front of her scared her even more. She couldn’t put her finger on when she’d started to fall for him. Had it been that first night in Miami, when she’d felt a pull towards him in spite of herself? Or had it be in Glencarraig, when he’d lifted her so easily in his arms, and carried her to his bed to warm her frozen body.

All she knew was that every night she went to bed with a smile on her face, because he’d called. And now he was here, had flown all this way just to spend the weekend with her, and it felt as though everything she thought she knew about the world was wrong.

‘Yes,’ she said softly. ‘I’d do that for you.’

23

Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight!

For I ne’er saw true beauty till this night

– Romeo and Juliet

She’d been putting this conversation off for hours. For as long as she’d been sitting in her office at Robinson and Balfour that morning, pretending to work on her laptop while she kept looking over at Malcolm’s office, trying to work out the best time to go and speak to him.

The problem was, there wasn’t a good time. She was about to admit she’d been completely unprofessional, and put the good name of the firm at risk. He’d be within his rights to have her disciplined for misconduct, and she couldn’t blame him if he did. This firm had been around for longer than she’d been alive – about a hundred years longer, in fact – it was bigger than any one of them.

She dropped her head into her hands. How had she managed to get herself into this mess? Closing her eyes, for a moment she considered not telling him, but that wasn’t possible. Even if there was nothing between her and Lachlan any more, she’d still stepped over the line too many times.

And the fact was, there was plenty between them. This weekend had showed her that. As much as she felt sick at the thought of having to talk to Malcolm, the thought of not seeing Lachlan again hurt so much more.

She didn’t really have a choice.

Lynn looked up from her desk as Lucy walked out of her office, giving her a big smile. ‘Everything all right?’ Lynn asked. ‘Can I get you something?’

‘I just need to speak to Malcolm.’ Even saying it out loud made her chest ache. ‘Do you know if he’s free?’

‘He is, but you’d better hurry. He’s off for a lunch meeting in twenty minutes.’

It was now or never. Here went nothing.

‘I don’t quite know what to say.’ Malcolm took off his glasses, rubbing the red patch on the bridge of his nose. ‘I wouldn’t have expected this from you of all people, Lucy. What on earth were you thinking?’

‘I’m so sorry,’ she said, looking down at her hands. ‘I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. And I know it must put you in a really awkward position. But I can’t carry on with the case, it wouldn’t be right.’

‘Did he take advantage of you?’ Malcolm asked her. ‘Because if he did there are things we can do.’

Her eyes flew up to meet his. She felt horrified. ‘No, no he didn’t. Anything that happened was… mutual.’ Her face flushed with heat. This was mortifying. She could have stripped off and danced naked around the office and she would have felt better than she did now. ‘I’m so sorry,’ she said again, because really, what else was there to say?

He slid his glasses back on his nose, then leaned on his desk, his hands clasped together. ‘What’s done is done. I’ll need to find out who has some space available to take the case over. And I’ll expect you to make sure everything’s shipshape before you hand it over.’

‘Of course.’

‘But I won’t be able to stop the office gossip,’ he warned her. ‘People will speculate over why you’ve been removed from the case.’

She swallowed, her mouth dry. ‘I understand that.’

‘Either they’ll guess right and realise you’ve been sleeping with a client or they’ll assume it’s too much for you. Either way you won’t come out smelling of roses.’ He shook his head slowly. She hated the way he looked so disappointed. She’d let him down, let the whole firm down, just because she couldn’t control her emotions. What kind of person did that make her?

‘I know.’ She really did. She’d seen people ruin their careers for less than she’d done.

‘Well, I suppose you’ve done the right thing in telling me.’ He looked at his watch and sighed. ‘I need to go to a meeting now, but I’ll be back later, and I’ll get to work on reassigning the case.’ He looked at her through the thick lens of his glasses. ‘I don’t know what’s going on with you and Mr MacLeish right now, but whatever it is, I hope he’s worth it.’

So did Lucy. More than she could say.

‘You’re fl