‘What happened, Lucy? You could have called him when you got home. Instead, he got days of silence.’
‘I was waiting for him to make the first move. I didn’t want to make things worse.’ God, it sounded so stupid now. Why the hell hadn’t she called him? ‘I was afraid,’ she admitted.
‘Of Lachlan?’ Grant sounded surprised. ‘Why were you afraid of him?’
It was all making sense. Saying it out loud was like a light bulb sparking up in her head. For the weeks she and Lachlan had been together, there was always a part of her waiting for it to end. The way things always ended with somebody she loved.
Love? The word was enough to send a chill down her spine, and yet warm her at the same time. Because
love made you vulnerable, it opened you up to hurt. Love meant losing control.
‘It wasn’t him I was afraid of,’ she said, more to herself than Grant. ‘It was me. I was afraid I was falling for him. I was afraid he’d hurt me. So I left before he could.’
‘You’re as bad as each other.’ Grant gave out a little huff. ‘I’ve never met two people who are so successful professionally, and yet have no idea what they’re doing with their personal lives. If I didn’t know any different I’d say you were made for one another.’
Was it wrong that his words felt like a bouquet of hope blooming inside her?
‘Maybe we are,’ she said. ‘And maybe we’re both too blind to see it.’
‘If you just talked occasionally, it would help. And I don’t mean telling him what clothes you’re wearing whenever he calls.’
Her cheeks pinked up. Grant knew about that?
‘Seriously, call him. Stop dancing around each other, it’s getting you nowhere. He misses you, he wants you, but he’s scared. Since he was a kid he’s been determined to pull himself out of the life he was born into. Determined to prove himself to his dad and his brother and God knows who else. He’s still learning that life isn’t just about winning, but about enjoying the journey.’
‘I could help him.’
‘You already started. But you got interrupted mid-project.’
‘I’ll call him,’ she said, her mind made up. ‘But what if he doesn’t answer?’
‘You tell me. Will that be enough for you to give up? Are you that afraid of being rejected?’
She was. But maybe she could stop letting the fear guide her. Maybe she could make herself vulnerable, open herself up, and see where the breeze took her. Yes, it was going to be as scary as hell, and yes she’d stumble on the way. But the alternative – to lose him – was even more painful.
‘Grant?’
‘Yes?’ he said patiently.
‘What agreement did he come to with his brother?’
‘How about you ask him that?’ Grant suggested. ‘All I can say is he seems happy with the situation.’
She nodded, still clutching the phone to her ear. ‘Yes, I’ll ask him.’
‘That’s good.’
It was, wasn’t it? Even if her whole body was shaking at the thought. They said their goodbyes and she gently replaced the phone on the receiver, tapping the plastic casing with her fingers, deep in thought.
She couldn’t help but remember the way he’d flown to Edinburgh that Friday night, giving her the shock of her life in the most exquisite way. He’d made a grand gesture, made her feel wanted, cherished, taken care of. Opened his heart to her when he told her he wanted more.
Maybe it was her turn to make a grand gesture right back.
33
But if the while I think on thee, dear friend, all
losses are restor’d and sorrows end