“So, I guess I’ll see you in the morning.”
Ridley nodded sadly and turned down the hall to her room. She closed the door behind her and dropped her purse and wrap on the bed.
“So much for my perfect night.”
After kicking off her shoes and hanging her dress up, she unhooked her bra with a sigh of relief. She sifted through the array of clothes in the suitcase she’d brought from Raina’s house until she found a lacy, silk nightgown. If she was going to be depressed, at least she could wear something pretty.
It was tempting to just drop into the bed but she knew she’d pay the price if she didn’t remove her makeup. She walked into the bathroom and took her earrings and necklace off. Her reflection stared back at her. It was crazy that she could look fine when she felt like she’d been kicked in the gut. She pulled the pins out of her hair and massaged her scalp.
There was a knock on the door just as she was soaping her face. “Just a minute,” she called out.
She hurriedly rinsed and then dried her face with a hand towel. When she left the bathroom, Jackson was sitting on the bed.
“Hey. I thought you were going to bed.”
“I was, but I’m not tired. Not even slightly.” He looked up at her and Ridley shivered at the pain in his eyes. “I can’t go to sleep with you thinking that I won’t talk about it because I don’t trust you. Especially when nothing could be further from the truth.”
“You don’t have to tell me anything.” She was suddenly exhausted. Tired of trying to figure out where she stood with him and tired of wondering if he felt anything for her beyond lust. “I just want to go to bed.”
He didn’t move, just sat staring at his hands. She was just about to tell him to get out when he finally spoke.
“My obsession with my music is the reason my wife is dead.”
Ridley gulped, suddenly sure that whatever he was going to tell her, she didn’t want to hear. “Jackson, don’t—”
“Cynthia was upset that night. I’d been spending so much time holed up in the little closet I used for recording back then. We’d just had Jase and all she wanted was a little time to herself. But I couldn’t understand that.” He looked up at her. “I accused her of wanting to go out with her friends so she could cheat on me.”
“How old were you?”
“I was twenty-two. We were so young. We should have had our whole lives ahead of us. But instead, I picked a fight with her. Said horrible things. It was raining that night, but I didn’t care. I told her to go out with her friends if she wanted to so badly. To just leave and not come back. And that’s exactly how it turned out.”
The raw pain in his voice pulled her to his side. She sat on the bed next to him and held his hand. He didn’t look at her.
“You were only twenty-two. I had just finished college at that age. I had no responsibility at all. I can’t even imagine the things you both had to deal with. You made mistakes, I’m sure but her accident wasn’t your fault.”
“I’ve had all the counseling and therapy that money can buy. I know the accident wasn’t my fault. But none of it can change the fact that I was a shitty husband. If I had been thinking of anything besides myself, she wouldn’t have been out in the rain driving that night. That was my fault. My golden voice didn’t make my wife very happy, did it?”
She was stunned by the bitterness in his voice.
“I just wanted you to know why I hate talking about it. It’s because it reminds me that I failed at one of the most important things in my life.”
She pulled him into her arms and didn’t let go, even when he tried to pull back. Finally he stopped fighting her and grabbed her tightly. She allowed him to pull her into his lap.
“I want you to listen to me,” she whispered. “I’m sure your wife loved you very much, even when you guys were fighting. She wouldn’t want you to punish yourself for the rest of your life.”
“I know. That was the last thing she asked me to do. To live my life. To love. To be happy.” He blinked quickly and wouldn’t look at her.
Ridley nodded and held his face in her hands. “That’s what she wanted and that’s what I want for you, too. For you to give yourself permission to be happy.”
She kissed him softly, hoping that she could convey all the comfort and healing she felt to him through her lips. After a few moments, he kissed her back. Then suddenly, his eyes opened. His lashes lowered over his dark eyes as he pulled her closer and kissed her again, an unforgiving clash of tongues and lips and teeth.
“I don’t know what you do to me,” he panted. “You make me believe anything is possible.”
“That’s because it is,” she whispered.
She pulled him closer and kissed him again, pressing against him. It was strangely arousing to be in his arms when he was fully dressed and she was only wearing a thin, silk nightgown. He held her shoulders still so he could ravage her throat. She shivered at the slightly rough sensation of his stubble against the delicate skin.
He pushed her back on the bed, roughly. One of the straps on her gown snapped when he tugged it aside. She pushed it down, wiggling her hips until she was able to slide out of it. Part of her was surprised at this side of him, but a bigger part was thrilled. It was such a rush to be able to drive a man like Jackson to the point of urgency, where he couldn’t get her clothes off fast enough because he couldn’t wait to have her.
“I wanted to romance you tonight. To show you a good time. But I can’t seem to take it slow with you. You. Drive. Me. Crazy.”
He punctuated each word with a gentle bite to the soft skin of her breasts. He held them in the palms of his hands, holding them still so he could lick and bite the sensitive tips. She ran her fingers through his curls, trying desperately to keep up.
It was too much, too fast and she could already feel her release bearing down on her. She panted, almost afraid of it.
Jackson fumbled with his belt buckle, growling his frustration against her breast. The rumble of his voice against her nipple made her cry out. He finally got his pants off and then lowered himself between her thighs.
As soon as his erection pressed against her core, she came.
“Yes, come for me. I can’t wait to get inside you.”
She bit her lip to keep from screaming as she trembled in his arms. When she opened her eyes again, he sat up and ripped his dress shirt down the middle. The ping, ping, ping of the buttons hitting the floor would have been amusing if she wasn’t just as crazed to get him naked.
She ran her hands over his chest greedily. His muscles contracted beneath her fingers and all she could do was admire as he leaned down and took her mouth in another breath-stealing kiss.
“I promise, the next time we make love it’ll be perfect. It’ll be romantic. I won’t be so rough.”
“There’s only one thing I need you to do that will make this perfect.”
“Anything.”
“Get naked. Now.”
* * *