She only heard one side of the conversation, but it was clearly Jo and she was unhappy with him.
“I…no, Jo…I get it. Of course. Yes…there were a few people. I took some photos. I was…polite…. Well, I can’t control what people say on TikTok, Jo…. I don’t know, it’s the fucking internet…. Jo. Jo. Come on…. You gave him a ride home! Why didn’t you give me a ride home? Fine. Yes. Fine. I’m sorry. Yes. Danny is out. Can you call Miguel? …Oh. Thanks. Great…. Yeah. I’ll be back for the meeting. I promise. Yes. I promise.”
Micah hung up and put his phone in the cupholder in the console between them.
“Why is she mad at you if Alex started the fight?”
“Because I am the one who always finishes it. Like an idiot.”
“You should stop doing that,” Helen said, and he laughed.
“No shit.”
“Have you ever done therapy?” Helen asked.
“Hours of it.”
“And it didn’t work?”
“Well, the therapist’s advice was to not be in a band with my brother.” He shrugged. Like that was that.
“Well, I imagine there’s more to it than that,” she said.
“Like what?”
“Like resist the urge to finish the fights your brother starts? Like when he walks away, you go with him.”
“That easy, huh?”
“Actually.” She laughed. “Yes. It’s just the past that makes it seem hard.”
“You get that little nugget in therapy?”
“No. Actually on a notebook I bought in a bookstore. We need to get some gas,” she said, glancing down at her gas gauge.
“And coffee.”
“Do you mind if I call my family ahead of you coming? My parents will want a chance to put together some kind of red carpet and my aunt will want to make you a meal. She’s a Michelin-starred chef, so the food will be amazing. And, I mean, they won’t make a big deal, they’ll make the usual size deal. But even that’s kind of a big deal, but it’s also, you know…” She wrinkled her nose. “It’s kind of nice.”
“Of course. I love a red carpet. So…” he said and then stopped.
“What?”
“Your whole family lives together? Like your aunts and uncles and everything?”
“It’s a big property. Everyone has their own house, but yes. We are pretty all together.”
“Isn’t that…a lot?”
“Sometimes. But most of the time it’s amazing.”
“Where do you live?” he asked.
She was embarrassed to even say it. “With my parents. I sleep in my childhood bed.” She glanced over at him and he put his hands up.
“I’m not judging you,” he said.
“It just made sense, after Evan died. I was pregnant and grieving and—”
“Hey,” he said, his hand on her knee. “I get it. You were trying to survive, Helen.”
But she was past surviving now, wasn’t she? And that house was too damn small. She needed her own space, not just a bedroom with a door. But a house. Or maybe an apartment in Catskill.
The one where Dani lived had a pool and a jungle gym. Bea would love it.
They stopped to get gas and coffee, and she walked over to the scrubby grass around the air pump. The highway was just in the distance and there was an empty lot she was staring at full of trash and sunlight. It was one of those edge-of-spring, edge-of-summer days that felt like a song. Like there was nothing but possibility all around.
Maybe she was giddy from the orgasms. Or Micah. Or both. But maybe it was being out in the world again, her life the way it was supposed to be without this last three-year blip. But she felt flush with living. She stretched out her arms, flexed her hands. Alive in her body in a way…she’d forgotten. How was it possible to forget this feeling?
She called Jonah.
“Hey,” he said.
“Are you sitting down?”
“No. Do I need to be?”
“Well, you need to be braced.”
“I’m braced,” he said. She heard her mom’s voice in the background and she imagined him putting his hand on her shoulder in their kitchen.
“Micah Sullivan is Michael Bassiter. His mom was Emmaline. He’s a Haven House kid.” Jonah was silent. She looked at her screen to see if the call dropped. No. He was still there.
“Jonah?”
“You’re kidding me.”
“I’m not. Remember the kid who sat outside the nurses station for hours—?”
“No!”
“That was Micah.” She explained the stepdad and adoption. The nickname.
“And we didn’t recognize him,” Jonah said.
“Well, I think to be fair to us, those dots are pretty hard to connect. But, and brace yourself again.” She heard her mom laugh in the background. “Micah is coming to the inn today,” she said. “He’s going to stay for dinner.”
“Oh my god—”
“No, listen. Everyone needs to try and be cool, okay? This doesn’t need to be a whole thing.”
“Cool?” Jonah laughed. “You’re telling me to be cool. I’m not the one who hid in a closet in White Plains.”
“How do you know that?”