Midlife Do Over

“Calendar?”

I tapped the screen, annoyed. “You know the one where we all know what’s going on around here? You have access to it, Devon made sure of it.”

Ryan simply stared at me for a long moment, his lips curled into a satisfied smirk. I remembered that look well. “This isn’t on the schedule.”

Thank goodness. “I can’t go anywhere today. Sorry,” I told him, not feeling sorry at all.

“The restaurant is closed today.”

“Exactly, which is why we have inventory coming in today.”

His brows dipped low. “Doesn’t Nina handle that?”

“For the food, yes. But there’s alcohol coming in, and specialty items for tomorrow’s engagement party.” Did the man not understand that running a restaurant was a full-time job?

“This will only take a few hours. I promise.”

I shook my head, anger warring with disbelief. “I don’t have a few hours to spare, Mr. Gregory. We have a lot to do today.”

“Devon is on his way in as we speak,” he countered and there went that smug smirk again. “There’s a local winery I want to check out, maybe do a deal with them.”

“Oh. Well that’s great.” I sighed and relaxed back in my chair. “You’re the boss, so if you like the wine, you’re the one with the power to make the deal.” This was something that didn’t require me to be present. “Good luck.”

“I know what kind of wine I like, which is hardly any of ’em. The stuff tastes like vinegar to me, Pippa. But you’ve worked in restaurants for years, you know what customers like, what’s trending and all that. Don’t you?” His victorious smile grated on my nerves, but I kept my expression neutral. “Come on, Pip, we’ll be gone only a few hours. Tops.”

“Fine,” I growled just to get this over with. “I need a few minutes and then I’ll be ready to go.”

“I’m driving,” he said and sauntered off.

Two hours later we were still on the road. “Where exactly is this winery?”

A long beat passed before Ryan spoke, giving me time to focus on his strong, calloused hands, handling the steering wheel as if it was his trusted guitar. “Gatlinburg. This winery is doing a lot of eco-growing which apparently changes the taste of the grapes.”

“Gatlinburg! That’s not a quick day trip like you promised.” I shook my head, disgusted that I allowed myself to trust him. Again. “My fault.” Anger stewed and I turned my head out the passenger window, barely seeing the beautiful scenery as we zipped past it.

“You’re mad.”

I snorted at his not-a-question and kept silent. Of course I was mad, he’d interrupted my work day for this, I didn’t even know what the hell it was, but it was garbage.

“Pippa.” He let out a frustrated sigh. “You’re just gonna be silent the entire time? Real mature.”

“Not the entire time, just until we get to the winery and I can ask some questions.”

“And me?”

“You I have nothing to say to, because you lied to me. Again.”

“I did not,” he insisted angrily. “This is a day trip and we’ll be back in time for you to get some work done.”

“Oblivious ass,” I muttered more to myself than to Ryan.

“Pardon?” He tugged on his ear as if he didn’t hear me and I turned to him with fire in my eyes.

“You heard me you oblivious ass! Sure we’ll be back before the calendar changes to tomorrow, but it’s a four hour drive, plus two or three hours of touring the vineyards, tasting the wines. If we’re lucky we might leave for home at six or seven, which puts me back at the restaurant at nine or ten. Does that seem right or fair to you?” He opened his mouth to speak but I plowed straight ahead. “Or it’s that it doesn’t matter, because you don’t have to do the work?” My heart pumped hard as the last few words left my mouth. No one in the world could get to me the way this man could.

“I just want to put the past behind us, Pip. To start over and move forward, maybe even as friends.”

Friends? What a joke. “The past is behind us. It’s history, hell it’s ancient history, but that doesn’t mean it’s forgotten. Why isn’t it enough that we can work together and be civil?” That was a challenge all on its own, and it had to be enough. It certainly was enough for me.

“I miss you, Pip.”

My heart hitched in my throat at his words. He missed me. What in the hell did that even mean? “You gave me up easily enough, so what’s to miss?”

Ryan growled, the sound low and menacing. “I didn’t give you up, I went after my dreams Pip. You did the same.”

“I could have…whatever.” There was no point rehashing a past you couldn’t change.

“Now that you’re here, that we’re both back in town at the same time, I miss you even more than when I was on the road. You’re right here, so close, but as far away as if you were still in Chicago. You’re here but I can’t bask in the glow of your smile. I can’t laugh with you, because you don’t laugh when I’m around. You don’t smile and you don’t even seem relaxed, it’s like I suck all the joy from your life just by existing.”