Midlife Do Over

This was my best friend and if I could be honest with anyone, it was her. “Because I can’t resist him. Some moments I feel like the old Pippa again, happy and carefree and so in love it was almost sickening. And then I remember how I felt watching him walk away, knowing it had never been real.”

“And in those brief moments you end up naked?”

I nod. “Pretty much. It hasn’t been planned, ever. It just sort of happened a few times.”

“What’s a few? Less than ten?”

“Yes.”

She laughed. “More than five?”

“Maybe.”

“I don’t know Pippa, this sounds like explosive chemistry, maybe even love.”

I shook my head at her words, because it might be chemistry, but it certainly wasn’t love. I wouldn’t let it be love, not ever again. “No matter what it sounds like, it’s just a one time mistake that I keep repeating because the twenty year old girl in me can’t let him go. That’s all.” Even I know that’s a lie and I’m grateful to Valona for not calling me out.

“Whatever you need to tell yourself, honey. At least for the next three minutes or so.” She smiled and I gave her a playful shove.

“What about you, any bad relationship decisions lately?”

“No,” she sighed. “Nothing worth talking about.”

Which meant there was something. “Tell me-,”

Valona jumped off the sofa like it was on fire just as the timer chimed from the bathroom. “Let’s go.”

I stood much slower than Val and let out a long breath. It was time to face the music, and hopefully not the music man.

Chapter 19

Ryan

“Holy hell man, it smells like armpit and whiskey in here.” Roman stepped inside the recording studio, with our brother Derek trailing behind him. “Have you left here today?”

I shrugged at the matching shocked expressions on my brothers’ faces and went back to the music sheet in front of me. “Not today. Or yesterday. Not for a while.” Truth was, I hadn’t left the studio except for short periods of sleep and bathroom breaks. I was in a fog, a fog of songwriting that seemed to never end. “I’ve hit a stride.”

“Yeah?” Roman’s worry transformed to excitement as he dropped down on the sofa at the far side of the room. “Anything good for me?”

“I got about six songs that I think are perfect for your voice. The rest just depends on what you’re going for. I think about eight are good for the band.”

“You think?” Leave it to Derek to pick up on the details. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing. I came down here last week because I had some chords I just couldn’t get out of my head and then they just kept pouring out.” I hadn’t written like this in ages and it felt good, so damn good. At least my professional life was going much better than my nonexistent personal life. “Got more songs than I really need, I guess I’ll have to sell ’em.”

My brothers looked at each other and then back at me, their worried expressions returned. “What’s going on?” Derek was almost annoyed.

“How was the tropical vacation with Sally?”

“Her name was Tally, and it was fine. Don’t change the subject. What’s going on with you?”

“Nothing. Just working on our next album, writing and stuff.” The stuff being the thing that kept me locked in my studio for nearly fourteen straight days. “How was LA?”

Roman grinned. “Great. I mean I had to sit through a lot of meetings with executives and creatives going over the concept for the album, but the press was good. People are excited about my album and happy to know The Gregory Brothers are still going strong.”

All caught up on their lives, Roman and Derek turned to me. “What?”

“If you’re not gonna tell us what’s wrong,” Derek growled, “at least let us hear the music.”

That I could do, happily. We listened to Roman’s songs first and then the eight I’d earmarked for TGB. “I think we should just title the album TGB,” I told them and then played the final three songs.

“Holy shit,” Roman beamed. “You have been in the zone. These are incredible, Ry. Seriously fuckin’ incredible.”

“Thanks. I’m pretty proud of them.” They were some of my best songs, period. The lyrics and music and composition were all perfect.

“Let’s hear the rest,” Derek urged, still staring at me like he thought I might be on the verge of a mental breakdown.

It took another two hours, but we listened to all the songs I’d come up with since the tour ended, and I hadn’t realized just how many there were. “Didn’t realize there were so many actually.”

“I guess I don’t need to ask if things are on again with you and Pippa,” Derek guessed correctly. “Saw her at the Dark Horse and she is looking mighty damn fine.” I glared at my brother but he just laughed, that knowing look in his eyes.