“He’s lying.” Ezra steps up beside his boyfriend. “We’ve known all along.”
Anton leans in close and whispers, “We have?”
I hang my head in my hand.
“My boyfriend forgets these things easily,” Ezra says. “We fuck each other so hard every night that our short-term memory is affected from hitting our frontal lobes against the headboard.”
Dex cocks his head. “Why don’t you have sex facing the other way?”
“I think we’ve found where your genius lies—in sexual positions.” Ezra nudges Anton. “I think we might need to give that one a try.”
“Right now?” Anton squeaks and then glances between us.
“Don’t worry,” Dex says. “Whatever happens on va-gay-tion, stays on va-gay-tion, remember? We will ignore the porn-like soundtrack if you guys need to fuck it out.” Then he turns to us. “That goes for you two as well.” He runs a hand through his dark blond hair. “I get why you didn’t want to share a room now, but you could’ve told me. Pretend I’m not here. I’ll hang out in my room, go for a swim, and catch up with you guys when you aren’t having couple time.” And there’s the Dex I love. So trusting he doesn’t pick out the glaring holes in our story, because he doesn’t think for a second that his friends would lie to him. I can tell he’s not impressed by me not telling him, but he goes straight into supportive best friend mode anyway.
“Great. We can start now,” Oskar says and stands, taking me with him.
“Where are we going?”
“Bed.” He drags me to the hall.
Before we’re out of earshot, I hear Dex mutter, “Love you, bye,” in that confused tone of his.
I go along with it, ignoring my guilt, but as soon as the door is closed to Oskar’s room, I shove him away from me.
“Mmm, like it rough, huh?”
“Oskar.”
“Yeah, baby, call me by my name.”
“While you continue with …” I gesture in his general direction. “That. I’m gonna duck into my room and grab my phone, seeing as you have banished us to this room for at least half an hour. Thanks for that.”
“Half an hour? I can go all afternoon.”
“I’ve never wanted to punch you more,” I say.
“Oh, I’ve never tried being punched during sex before, but hey, I’m up for anything. Do it.”
“We’re not actually having sex in here.”
“Yes, we are. Or, at least, we have to make it sound like we are. Hmm, how long is a suitable amount of time for foreplay? Like, if we start banging the bed into the wall now, they’ll think I haven’t prepped you enough.” He rubs his chin as if trying to work out a really difficult math problem.
“Why would you be the one to top me in this scenario?”
He waves me off. “Please. You’re a total bottom.”
I open my mouth to correct him that I go any which way, but that will only encourage him. I can see him now, yelling out, “Flip fuck! It’s like a plot twist for sex,” so loud everyone in this damn house could hear him.
It’s bad enough when he climbs on the bed and starts jumping up and down while making obscene noises.
I love my friends, I really do, and I might possibly be closest with Oskar out of all the Collective guys because he’s only an hour-and-a-half plane ride away. But this is a new development in our friendship … the urge to murder him.
If he makes it the next two weeks still breathing, I’ll be surprised. Relieved I won’t have to go to prison but surprised.
“I don’t think I want to do this,” I tell him.
“You’re the one who made the bet.”
“I know, but I thought I’d win.”
“Dex will be fine,” Oskar says, still jumping. “We might tease him a lot, but that man is resilient. Besides, look at it this way. By putting space between you two, we’re stopping him from hurting you, which we both know he’d want. I like Dex, but you’re my boy. If that means that I have to be the asshole here, then so be it.” He offers me a pitying smile. “I’m doing this because I care.”
I know he does. I can’t be mad at him when he really does think he’s doing the right thing. It hurts to be in love with Dex, and if I’m honest, I do want to get over it, but not at the expense of separating myself from him. I just want the feelings to magically turn off so we can be best friends. This is why I agreed to the stupid plan. If I can get over these feelings, that’s all our problems solved.
“Are you done yet?” I ask.
“Just what every guy wants to hear during sex,” Oskar says. He jumps higher, the bed creaking with every move. “Come help me. Bang your head against the wall.”