“Okay, fine. He did. And then I told Sienna. And that’s why we’re here.”
“To offer some really helpful advice and shower me with sisterly love? I mean, technically, Phoebs, you’re my sister now too.”
They both step toward me, those pitiful looks still across their faces. As they get closer, I anticipate a group hug, but instead, they both slap me upside the head like Oskar and Ezra did on vacation.
“Ow. Why do people keep doing that?”
“Because you might be as big of an idiot as Dex,” Sienna says.
“Bigger,” Phoebe agrees.
“Why did you put yourself through the torture of a fake wedding with the man you are secretly in love with?” my sister asks.
“Uh, because he asked me to?”
“I love Dex dearly,” Phoebe says, “but you just trusted him to get all the details of the fake wedding correct? Now you’re actually married, and this somehow went from a joke to a bigger joke? But not a funny ha-ha joke, but a ‘hey, isn’t it funny how two grown-ass men can be so totally—’”
I hold up my hand. “I get it. We made mistakes. Big ones. But I’m done trying to figure out how we could’ve been so dumb and trying to come up with solutions. Team management said they want to trade one of us if we can’t get out of this situation with as little drama as possible.”
“You can’t be traded!” Sienna says. “Either of you. What will Phoebe and I do?”
My sister works for a casino here in Vegas—she moved to be close to me—but Phoebe and Dex are really close too. Dex was sent to Vegas in the expansion draft, and as he tells it, Phoebe helped him move and then never left. Other than to get her own apartment. After surviving shitty childhoods together, they have each other’s back. If Dex is traded, she’ll leave too.
“If one of us has to be traded, I’ll volunteer. Then Sienna can stay here, and you three will still be together.”
My sister wraps her arms around me. “But I won’t have you.”
Phoebe joins the hug. “We love you both and don’t want to lose either of you. Also, as a side note, I’m glad he married you and not Jessica.”
I laugh, but it’s half-hearted. “Whatever happens, we’ll work it out.” They step away from me, and I can’t help myself. I ask, “How is he anyway? He’s been avoiding me.”
“He feels so guilty,” Phoebe says. “He’s worried if it gets out, you’ll hate him.”
“I could never hate—”
She holds up her hand. “I know you never could, but no matter how many times I tell him that, he doesn’t believe me. He said you didn’t want to get married in the first place.”
“I mean, in general no. But it wasn’t supposed to be real. I was wearing water wings, for fuck’s sake.”
“You were what?” Sienna asks.
“It was a joke. And then we totally forgot about it, went and had fun on vacation, and then we found out we actually got married.”
“Dex gets so much shit for being the dumb one, but can we all agree that you’re also not smart?”
“Hey, I am too.”
Phoebe taps her chin. “Remind me which of the three of us accidentally married their best friend.”
“I’m never going to live this down, am I?”
“What are sisters for?” Sienna says.
“Love? Encouragement? Emotional support?”
They both stare at me.
“At least you got your dream man after all?” Sienna says. I can’t tell if she’s being helpful or a smartass.
“Yes,” I deadpan. “I’m so happy we’ve been married for three weeks, only been aware of it for a few days, and he already wants a divorce. You’re so right. It’s all my dreams come true.”
Phoebe cocks her head. “Are you saying you don’t want a divorce? Or an annulment?”
“No. Of course I do. But … I dunno. Would it kill him to not be so eager about getting one? Or maybe stop avoiding me? I’m not mad at him, but if he keeps blowing me off, I will be.”
“If it makes you feel any better,” Phoebe says as she dumps her handbag on my kitchen counter, “Dex is a mess. When I saw him, he was hunched over his computer, doing that thing where his mouth moves with every word he’s trying to read as if saying them out loud would help him understand. He wasn’t his usual bubbly self.”
That’s what I was afraid of. “I’ll go knock down his door later today and make sure he knows this isn’t all his fault.”
Phoebe deflates. “Damn it. I don’t want you two to get divorced. You treat my brother right, and you love him to bits—”
“Except your brother doesn’t love all my bits.” I gesture in the general area of my junk.
“I can understand that,” Sienna says. “I mean, dicks aren’t really all that pretty to look at, are they? They get the job done though.”