“It’s just the truth,” I said. “I don’t mean anything by it. I hope you know that.”
“I know, I’m just teasing you,” he said. “But… thank you. It means a lot, hearing that from you. You didn’t even know who I was when you met me.”
“After today, it’s clear to me that I’m still learning who you are.”
“I wonder about it myself, sometimes.”
I shook my head. “I bet it’s hard for you to trust anybody, being so famous.”
“It should be,” he said, staring out at the open road. “But the truth is that I trust way too easily. That’s my whole problem. Always has been.”
I could hear the pain behind his words.
I wanted to pull him in toward me and cover him in a hug. Not only to protect him from the world, but to give him some small feeling of comfort.
Theo pulled over into a little dirt roundabout and turned around, heading back toward town. “Rule three about me: I’m kind of a weirdo. And sometimes that means that I decide to go to bars at one o’clock.”
I nodded once. “I am your bodyguard, and I go wherever you go,” I said. “Trust me, if we’re going to be spending so much time together, I’m not going to judge you. For anything.”
“Well, when I mentioned Red’s Tavern, I realized it sounded like the only place I want to go, right now.”
A little silent thrill shot through me. I was on the job, right now, so I wasn’t going to let my own opinions be known. But the idea of spending time in Red’s Tavern—and being paid for it—sounded like the perfect Saturday afternoon to me. Even if I wasn’t drinking a drop.
Because I knew Red’s Tavern was safe. I knew that Theo was right about it being a comfortable place for him, where even if he was recognized, there was unlikely to be a mob.
Red would never allow it. And in the dim lighting of the bar, I could make sure that he would be safe.
“Anywhere you feel good is a good place to be,” I said.
“I felt amazing with you by my side at the farmer’s market, you know,” Theo said, glancing over at me again. “Even with that little crowd. Thank you, Roman.”
He’d called it a little crowd. To me, it had seemed like a mob. Slowly but surely, I was beginning to get the full picture of what life as a celebrity was really like.
“You should have gotten a bodyguard way sooner,” I said.
“Probably true,” he replied. “But now I’m glad I never did.”
“How come?”
“Because I’m glad it’s you,” he told me. “To be honest, I can’t already imagine having one that isn’t you.”
Theo might have driven like a maniac, lived life with no schedule, and been a little bit of a mess—in his own words. But he was also a sweetheart.
I looked over at him and he smiled at me, a completely different smile than the picture-perfect one he’d given the crowd. It was soft and slight, and a little lopsided.
My heart thumped a little faster in my chest. But I just looked off, back toward the road, remembering that my duty here was to protect him, at all costs.
Not to melt into a damn puddle when he smiled at me.
Because I wasn’t going to make that mistake again. Ever. The experience I’d had a decade ago was lodged in my brain like a goddamn splinter that wouldn’t come out.
It was like ancient history now, but it still felt fresh. Chandler had become my best friend so quickly. He’d been a bartender at the club where I’d worked as a bouncer. We saw each other almost every day. We’d prowl the town together after our shifts, each of us the perfect wingman for the other. And I’d protect him anytime some dude got too drunk and angry at the bar.
Chandler had been small and pretty, too. Like a small-town, non-movie star version of Theo.
But then one night, we’d both been a little too drunk when he came home to crash at my place. Chandler had gotten a little bit handsy with me. Then a lot handsy. He’d always been straight, as far as I knew, but I’d silently been curious about men my whole life.
I’d gone in whole-hog, ready for anything.
We’d stripped naked.
Stupid, stupid, stupid. Before I knew it, his dick had been in my hand. I jerked him off, quickly and feverishly, so turned on it had hurt. Chandler had passed out in bed next to me moments later, and even though I hadn’t gotten a chance to come, I was grateful even for the opportunity to sleep next to my favorite person.
But the next morning, we’d woken up. I leaned over to kiss him, and he pulled away from me like I was a hot stove.