“The truth is, Roe... I was also scared. I was scared to learn that you might’ve found someone else to love as much as, or even more than, you loved me. That you could find happiness with someone else other than me. Even though you deserved every fucking bit of that love and happiness. So, yes... Maybe I was protecting myself, too.”
He froze as I molded myself against his back, the heat of our bodies blending, and put my mouth to his ear. “Roe, I’m willing to do whatever you want. I’m willing to fight for forgiveness. To fight for us.”
Neither of us moved for a heartbeat. Then two.
Ronan gradually turned to face me. I had him blocked in with my body and my arm braced against the door. Even though we were similar in height, he was much more powerful than I was and he could easily push me out of his way. Or knock me down.
With excruciating slowness, he tipped his head and put his mouth to my ear. “I’m… not.”
His warm breath across my ear made me shudder and a soft hiss slide from between my lips. I did not hide any of that from him. I wanted him to know how much he still affected me. How much I still wanted him.
And, eventually, I hoped he would realize how much I still loved him.
But my reaction was not because of what he said. It was the fact he was lying. I saw it in his eyes as he struggled to hide it. His erection began to grow between our pinned bodies. He also had to feel mine caused from us being pressed together. From inhaling his scent. From our lips being only inches apart.
His lip pulled up as he snarled, “Fuck. You.”
It was in that moment I was done.
I was done letting him control the narrative. Letting him continue to treat me like he was.
And for being so damn stubborn.
I found my self-respect. My strength. My courage. And donned it like a cloak.
Yes, I was willing to fight and I was about to show him how hard I’d battle for us.
Using my chest, I bumped him backwards until he was sandwiched tightly between me and the door.
I reached up, grabbed his face and crushed my mouth against his.
I did not beg. I didn’t even ask.
I took what I wanted.
I saw what had been behind his eyes and I was going to prove that I knew he was lying.
Yes, he was still pissed at me, but deep down… He also still loved me.
I saw it.
I also saw how him still loving me made him furious, too. But that gave me the slightest hope that he’d be able to get past that anger. And once he did, I’d be waiting for him on the other side of it.
While at first he didn’t fight the kiss, he also didn’t participate.
I was not giving up that easily this time.
I moved my lips against his, brushed my tongue across his. Continued to explore his mouth, a groan slipping from me and getting caught between us.
Our erections now raged and I moved my hips the slightest bit so they brushed. A reminder of what we used to have. What we could have once more.
I did it again and again, getting bolder each time.
Until finally…
Finally…
He broke. With a growl, he shoved my tongue out of his mouth and plundered mine instead. If he wanted to lead this dance, I’d let him. For now.
But the second he stopped cooperating, I’d take it back.
As our tongues tangled and our lips moved, I reached between us for the button on his jeans. Lightning quick, he clamped a hand around my wrist in a tight, painful hold, stopping me.
I pulled back, breaking our kiss.
His eyes were closed, his lips parted slightly. His panting as rapid as mine.
I waited, hoping I didn’t just screw everything up by pushing him too far too quickly.
When he finally opened his eyes, his pupils were dilated as he stared at me.
Anger was no longer in those dark brown eyes, anguish had replaced it.
Maybe even a touch of fear.
“I can’t do this again,” came out on a broken whisper. With that, he slammed his palms against my chest, shoving me back a step. I hadn’t been prepared for it.
While I caught my balance, that gave him just enough time to spin around, unlock the door again with his phone and disappear behind it before I could stop him.
The door slamming shut echoed across the roof like a gunshot.
But I wasn’t giving up. Not now.
I now had hope and I’d cling to it until I could no longer hold on. Until it no longer existed.
I yanked on the door handle. “Roe!”
Of course, it was locked.
I pulled my keycard from my own back pocket and swiped it. The light flashed red.