I had to dig deep to give him my ultimatum. “So, instead of you coming back to my room, you need to go back to your place and figure out what you’re going to tell her and break it off with her tonight. If you don’t want to do that, let me know now.”
I held my breath as I waited for his response.
“Roe…”
I blew out my held breath and shook my head. I couldn’t take any more indecision from him. “I can’t let this continue the way it is. As much as I want to be with you, I can’t until you decide who you want to be with. If it’s not me, I’ll understand. But I don’t want to get any more invested than I already am, Tate. The deeper this gets, the harder it’ll be if you decide you don’t want to be with me and want to be with a woman instead. Whether that’s Dahlia or not.”
I opened my mouth to tell him I loved him, but I hadn’t told him that yet and I didn’t want that to weigh heavily on his decision. He needed to decide what he truly wanted and not let what I desperately wanted to influence him.
So, I kept that to myself.
The only hope I held onto right now was that all signs were pointing to him falling in love with me, too. Of course, he hadn’t said those words, either.
Instead of revealing how much he meant to me, I whispered, “If you’re not going to do this for you or Dahlia, please do this for me. I can’t let this keep going on the way it has. I either want all of you or none of you, Tate.”
He nodded, his expression not giving me much of anything. “I’ll tell her at dinner.”
I took that as a sign he would finally break up with her after all the times he assured me he would. But until it happened, I wasn’t holding my breath.
We stared at each other for a few quiet moments, both fully aware that we stood in the middle of campus. I wanted to reach out but I knew if I did, it would be obvious that we were more than friends.
Instead, I curled my fingers tightly into my palms and watched him as he turned and walked away. I clenched my jaw so I wouldn’t call out to him to tell him to forget everything I just demanded.
I didn’t. But I did stand there until he disappeared from my sight.
And with every step he took, I had to fight even harder to stop him.
Ronan (Then)
I chewed on the pen cap as I sat staring at my notebook. I was supposed to be reading two chapters in my Business Law textbook. A required class if I ended up picking Entrepreneurship as my major.
It was my first choice since Duquesne had a great business school and programs, but like Tate trying to figure out his sexuality, I was still undecided.
However, I had time. Tate did not.
I glanced down at the spiral notebook empty of any notes. Instead, the page was full of doodles. Not even good ones. Mindless squiggles and shapes filled the lined paper.
I spit out the decimated cap, sighed and threw my pen down before I used up all the ink doing nothing productive.
When a pounding began at my dorm room door, I jumped out of my seat. Like normal, I had locked it to get some studying done. I failed, of course, because I couldn’t keep my mind off Tate and the conversation he might have had with Dahlia earlier at dinner.
It had to be him at the door. Especially after I got a text from him a couple of hours ago telling me, It’s done. Will call you later.
I had been relieved, excited and worried all at the same time. I was also anxious about what had been said and how it had been received.
I hadn’t lied to Tate about not wanting to hurt Dahlia. She was an unfortunate participant in this whole thing.
But the guilt every time Tate and I had sex… It had eaten at me. I had been selfish with someone already taken.
I wouldn’t want it done to me. I didn’t want it done to anyone else.
I hoped with him finally letting Dahlia go meant that our relationship could progress the way it was meant to be.
He might not be ready to go public with it and I was okay with that.
For now.
I could wait until he was more comfortable.
With a huge smile on my face, I unlocked the door and swung it open.
Then swallowed the words I was about to say.
It wasn’t Tate on the other side of the door.
It was Dahlia.
Shit.
My heart began to thump even faster in my chest. And I was frozen where I stood. At least until Dahlia shoved me with all her strength, making me stumble backwards into my room.