Everything About You

“Tate…”

“I know it wouldn’t be good for Alec or Mazie but I also need to show them that they need to stand up for themselves. If it comes down to it, that’s what I’m going to do. Even if it doesn’t, every time I have them, I’ll talk to them about everything that’s going on, but in a neutral way. I don’t want to poison them against Dahlia. No matter what, she’s a good mother and she loves them. So, I hope she doesn’t do anything that would hurt them emotionally.”

“That’s a good plan.”

“I didn’t tell her yet, but once I get my feet under me a little more and can afford a good attorney, I’ll be going for fifty-fifty custody.”

I blinked. Fifty percent custody meant he’d need to tell them about me, about us, sooner than later.

Realistically, I could front him the funds for a good attorney, or even pay for the fees outright, but I wouldn’t suggest it since he was trying to get financially stable on his own. But if he asked, I wouldn’t hesitate to help.

He reached up, grabbed my hand playing with his hair and interlocked his fingers with mine. He took another sip of The Macallan, then leaned his head back against the leather couch with a sigh.

“You know, I’ll never regret having my children. But I do regret not leaving Dahlia when I began seeking sex outside of our marriage. I regret lying to her about that even though she was aware of how much I loved you when she got pregnant. She sabotaged us, Roe. And then I turned around and sabotaged me and her. Hers was on purpose, mine was not, but I’m still just as guilty. I’ll own that to the day I die.”

I took the glass of scotch from his hand, downed the rest of it and placed the glass on the floor. I turned us until we faced each other, but stayed quiet because I wanted to listen. It was something I needed to do more of, instead of simply reacting.

Reacting before thinking things through could be damaging.

I could keep my cool during business and that helped make my company successful. I needed to do the same with our relationship, so that could make us more successful, too.

After a few seconds of silence between us, he finally continued. “I also regret not searching for you the moment I walked away from her because I finally embraced who I was and realized that would never change. Honestly, like I told you on the roof that night, I didn’t think you’d ever want to see me again. I was afraid if I hunted you down and you only spit in my face—and I’m not saying I wouldn’t deserve that—it would have been harder than just leaving you alone. However, not finding you earlier is one of my biggest regrets. And as you know, I have a long list of them.”

When the silence descended between us, I waited again to see if he was done talking or had more to say. When he showed no signs of it, I said, “To be completely transparent, I never followed your career, Tate. I never watched one news program that you were in. I just couldn’t. I didn’t search or stalk you on social media, either. I couldn’t do that to myself. Because just you being in my mind and memories was difficult enough. Instead of that, I concentrated on being the most successful businessman I could be. I lost you, but I fought to keep from losing myself. I was afraid if I kept track of you, it would eat me from the inside out until nothing was left.”

“It was the same for me.”

“And the reason you had no idea I owned this building before you moved in.”

He tilted his head as he stared at me. “Out of all the buildings in Pittsburgh I could have chosen, how did I end up in yours?”

“Do you really want that answer?”

His eyebrows rose. “Do you know it?”

“I have a pretty good guess.”

“I would have to believe in fate.”

“Maybe you should.”

He turned his head enough to look out the windows. He nodded. “You’re right. I should. Maybe everything that happened in the time between happened for a reason.”

“I’m not sure I’d go that far.”

He turned back to me, a slight upward curl to his lips. “You don’t think it made us appreciate each other more now?”

“I appreciated you back then, Tate. I just didn’t appreciate what you did.”

He ran the back of his knuckles across my jaw. “I plan on making that up to you for the rest of my life.”

“No.” I shook my head. “You need to stop doing that and I need to stop expecting it. We need to start fresh from here, this very moment. We said we were going to stop looking backward and only look forward. Let’s stick to that.”