“It’s too late,” I said. “I’ve already fallen.”
He trailed a finger down the length of my neck and slipped under the collar of my nightdress. Under the soft fabric of my gown, my nipples hardened and ached for his touch. “Do you know how badly I want you in my bed?”
“I won’t know what to do,” I whispered. “I’m afraid I’ll disappoint you. I know nothing.”
“I’ll teach you.” He pulled me closer. The hard muscles of his chest and thighs pressed into me. The sweater Lizzie had given me seemed suddenly hot and cloying. “The things I’ll do to you will make you forget your fear.” He kissed my neck, then nibbled my ear. I shuddered and let out a soft moan.
I might burst into flames, I thought. Right here in the hallway.
He kissed my mouth, penetrating with his tongue. His stubble scuffed my sensitive skin, but I didn’t care. I arched my back and clung to him with my free arm. When he lifted his mouth from mine, I saw the question in his eyes. Would I let him inside my room?
It took every ounce of strength to say what I said next. “Alexander, not yet. Not until we’re married.”
“I know, my love. I know you’re right.” He placed one finger over my mouth. “You’re all I think about. Do you know that? I’m consumed with your beauty and goodness. Every night before I fall asleep, I imagine you next to me when I wake up in the morning. Tell me you’ll marry me soon before I die of thirst.”
I held his scruffy chin in my hand and pecked his lips with mine. “I’ll quench your thirst, Alexander Barnes. Soon.”
He dropped his arm from my waist, and I escaped with my virginity barely intact. Once inside, I stood against the hard, cold wood as my heart thudded in my chest. I held my breath and listened for footsteps. Finally, I heard him walk away from the door toward his room. Only then could I breathe.
Chapter 26
Alexander
* * *
When I reached my room, I undressed and crawled into bed. The clock said it was almost 4:00 a.m. I closed my eyes and thanked God for sparing my boy, then, despite how I wished Quinn were next to me, fell into a deep sleep.
I overslept the next morning. Still weary, I sat up and rubbed my eyes. It was after ten. Was Theo all right? What kind of father was I? Sleeping when he might have taken another turn for the worse. I threw on my dressing gown and rushed down the hall to the boys’ room. Theo was asleep in his bed. I sat on the edge and gazed down at him. His cheeks were no longer bright red but a cheery pink instead. I brushed hair from his forehead.
His eyes fluttered open. “Hello, Papa. May I have a drink of water?”
“Yes, yes.” I went to the dresser and poured him a glass from the pitcher. There was a note propped up against the mirror addressed to me in Miss Cooper’s handwriting. I grabbed it as well as the glass of water.
Theo had risen slightly, his eyes fixed on the glass.
“Can you hold it?” I asked.
“Yes, Papa. I’m feeling much better.” Theo took the glass and sipped tentatively at first, then downed the entire glass.
“Do you remember much from last night?” I asked.
He wrinkled his forehead, obviously searching his memory but coming up with nothing. “The last thing I remember is riding home from skating and feeling very cold.”
“You gave me quite a scare.”
“I’m sorry, Papa.”
This boy and his earnest expressions, I thought. “Nothing to be sorry for. Sickness can get all of us at one time or another.”
“Not you, Papa. You’re strong.” With a tired sigh, he settled back against the pillow. Despite his improvement, a spasm of fear jerked through me. He’d been so ill. I had no idea how close we’d come to losing him. “Or Flynn. My sisters. Everyone’s strong but me.”
“You’re quite strong,” I said. “When you were first born, the midwife told me you might not live. But you fought. Sometimes it’s the smallest amongst us who have the most grit.”
His nose crinkled as he turned onto his side. “Mother told me I was weak.”
I drew back in surprise. “When did she tell you that?”
“Do you remember that time I had a bloody nose from wrestling with Flynn?” he asked.