I swing the flogger, gaining momentum. The last should be the worst to drive the images from my mind at least for tonight. I whip it back, a deep, guttural growl reaching my ears as the clinking of metal resounds before connecting with my flesh. The flogger rips from my hand, spinning me around. A large figure looms in front of me, my heart all but stops. Strong arms dart out and pull me toward it, sobs erupting from my throat.
“Stop this, Lily. It isn’t worth it,” Dresden whispers, his breath hot and calming against my ear as we sink into the mud.
“Let. Me. Go,” I say between heaves.
“No. I care about you too much to let you do this.”
No one cares about me. If they do, it won’t stay that way. Blake proved that the moment he chose that whore over me.
“Let me go, please,” I beg.
“Never.”
He stands, scooping me into his arms. The flashes of the storm light the way as he walks toward the guesthouse. Dresden moved out here when all hell broke loose. He shouldn’t be taking care of me. He’s just as broken over Shannon as I am over Blake.
†††
~Dresden~
Lily shakes as I set her on the edge of my bed. She’s gone quiet— her eyes empty as I’ve never seen them. Blake has no idea what he’s done, but in the morning, he will. Gently, I lean over her, examining her back. She split herself open pretty bad. I dab the blood away with a towel, careful not to wipe the wounds. She doesn’t even wince.
I grab a can of topical anesthetic from my bag and spray her down with it.
“How’s that feel?”
“Fine,” she mutters, emotionless.
Dropping to my knees in front of her, I cup her face in my hands. Her skin’s damp and soft, stirring something inside me it shouldn’t.
“You can’t do this to yourself. I know it hurts, baby, but you’re stronger than this.”
Tears build in her eyes, shining in the dim light of my room. “I don’t want to be strong anymore. I don’t want to feel anymore.”
My chest heaves with pain seeing her like this . . . this broken. I never realized how much I cared for her until now. She’s always been so negative about herself, situations like this bringing all those bad thoughts home, making them more intense and more real. It’s a wonder she didn’t kill herself years ago.
“Hey, you’re better than this. You know that.” Leaning forward, I press my forehead against hers, shifting my hand to cup her neck.
She smells good.
Sniffling, she runs her hand across my shoulder. “I just want a way to forget.”
“So, do I,” I whisper.
Her skin is freezing from the rain, but somehow warmth radiates off her, washing over me. Lily tilts her head up and her lips brush against mine.
“Lil,” I whisper, massaging her neck.
She leans forward, gently pressing her lips to mine, and they’re so soft and warm. It’s wrong and we shouldn’t do this. We’re both hurt, on the rebound, and trying to forget, but my body aches to touch her. I’ve never really thought of Lily in this way, but she’s beautiful and the only thing on my mind is stopping her pain.
Cupping her face with my other hand, I deepen the kiss, possessing her mouth with mine, and I press my body flush against hers. My tongue caresses hers, my erection pressing hard against my jeans, and she moans softly.
She pulls back, gazing at me, searching for something, and I wish I could read her mind. Lily was broken when I first met her, but the despair in her eyes now is worse than it was even then. All the muscles in my stomach clench as she bites her bottom lip.
She really has no idea how beautiful she is.
“I know it’s wrong, but I want to make love to you,” I say in a hushed tone.
Her breathing hitches and my heart beats in my ears like a war drum. “Yes.”