“Hold still one more time.” After Dresden removes the towel, he carefully puts the tape across the bridge of my nose tightly, so the bone won’t shift. “I’ll go get you something for the pain, though it probably won’t do much. Don’t get the tape wet when you get in the shower.”
Slowly, I hang my head forward, and it throbs when the door slams behind Vlad. The bathroom sink kicks on and a moment later, I open my eyes as Dresden tilts my head back again, gently cleaning the blood and dirt off my face.
“What the hell were you thinking, Lily? You’ve done some stupid shit since I met you, but going after Jax alone . . . do you have a death wish?”
“I said I fucked up. What more do you want me to say?”
He stops wiping my face and looks me dead in the eyes. “I want a reason.”
I sigh and push his hand away as he tries to wipe more blood off my face. Blake lightly squeezes my hips and I wince again. Every little touch hurts. “You have a baby on the way, Dres. You can’t go out in the field anymore.”
“Are you fucking kidding me? That’s why you did this? “
I nod as the overwhelming guilt floods my entire body. I thought I was doing the right thing. I really did, but now we’re in a worse situation than before this all started. I’m going to lose all of them. Jax knew I’d make that decision. He knew I’d choose them over myself. I played right into his plan.
Tears pool in my eyes and spill down my face. Dresden cups both sides of my face and tilts my head so our eyes meet. I blink trying to stop the tears, but they keep coming. He wipes them away with his thumbs, his own eyes shining too.
“Lily. I love that you want to protect everyone and everything. But if you haven’t learned by now, we are stronger together. We always have been.”
I nod and lick my lips, tasting nothing but salty tears.
“Promise me. We figure this Jax shit out as a team. From this point on, we do everything as a team. No more hero bullshit. Your family needs you. Blake needs you. I need you.”
My chest hurts so bad a sob escapes when I try to take a breath and more tears spill out. “I promise.”
He leans in and kisses my forehead as the bedroom door opens again. Vlad is flanked by Sammi, Rhett, and Caleb. Surprisingly, no one actually looks pissed. Sammi’s eyes are red though, so there’s no denying she’s been crying, too.
Dresden and Vlad switch places. Vlad drops two red and blue pills in my hand and hands me a glass of water. Blake hasn’t moved an inch.
I hand the glass back to Vlad and turn to stare Blake right in the eyes. “You’re rather uncommunicative, Mr. Mason. You should fix that. Sammi, help.”
She moves quickly to my side as I place one hand on Blake’s shoulder and the other in her hand to pull myself off the bed. Blake stands with me, but I point around him to the bathroom. Sammi slides my arm around her shoulders and her arm around my waist, helping me limp to the bathroom.
“I love you,” Blake says a little loud, probably to make sure I don’t miss it.
“Love you too,” I holler back over my shoulder. “Shut the door behind us, Boa.”
Once we’re in the bathroom with the door closed, Sammi helps me shower and clean out all the cuts on my skin. A few are deep enough to warrant stitches, but for tonight, Sammi puts butterfly stitches on them and bandages.
It takes almost 90 minutes, and she is kind enough to French braid my hair so it’s out of my face. When she helps me back to the bedroom, everyone is gone except Blake, who’s sitting up in bed, his back against the pillows and headboard. He’s wearing flannel pajama pants, no shirt, with a book in his lap. His hair is slightly wet. He must’ve taken a shower in the guest bathroom.
As Sammi walks me to my side of the bed, Blake closes his book and comes over to me. He lifts me into his arms and quickly, but gently, gets me situated on my side of the bed. “Thank you for everything, Sammi. Could you ask Teresa to bring Lily a little more pain meds and water, please?”
His voice is too calm, too business-like. Sammi nods, her eyes filling with tears again as she exits the room. Blake turns to walk back to his side of the bed.
“You don’t have to be so cold to her. This isn’t her fault, it’s mine.”
He stops at the end of the bed, the muscles in his shoulders and back visibly tensing. Now he’s going to get pissed. I knew he would, I just had to wait it out.
“You have no idea how I feel,” he says in a low voice keeping his back to me. After a moment, he finally turns to face me. His eyes are filled with tears and his chest heaves with each breath.
My mouth drops open slightly and it’s like I feel his pain and mine together. Emotional pain is a thousand times worse than physical pain. I’d take having my nose set again repeatedly over the hurt on his face for another minute.
A knock at the door startles both of us. Blake wipes under his eyes as he goes to answer it. Teresa walks in with a small glass of water and more meds. I take them and drink all the water without giving her any shit. She looks angry. At least someone does.
“Mr. Mason said I’m not allowed to give you a hard time, but I told you this was a bad idea. I was right. Look at you. Look at what you put them through. I hope you meant your promise to Mr. Scholl. I really do.” And she leaves without another word.
Blake shuts the door behind her and then sits on the edge of my side of the bed. He places his hands over mine and rubs his thumbs back and forth across my skin. “I’m not angry with you. I’m tired of almost losing you. I know you’re trying to save everyone, myself included, but I need you to keep that promise. No more going solo, no more heroics, and no more lying to me.”