"Lily, no. There's no guarantee you'll get to her."
"I have to try, Sammi."
She sighs. "I never should've told you."
"I would've been pissed if you hadn't."
"Promise me you'll be careful." Pain and sadness flood her eyes.
"Sammi, you've seen what I can do. You know me."
"I know. When will you tell the others?"
"Tonight. I'll be back within a week of going in, with company." I give her one last grin.
†††
Letting Blake go, for now, is the only way I can do this. It's the last thing I want, but I can't tell him about his sister. Not when the odds are against me. I still have to try to rescue her though. Sammi and I agreed not to tell anyone, and I know she'll keep her promise no matter what happens.
I walk down to the kitchen where everyone's quietly finishing dinner. I stop a few feet behind them and clear my throat. My heart's pounding in my ears as they turn with their faces expectant.
"I've given a lot of thought on this in the last few hours, and I've decided to go in the auction."
Gasps erupt around the table.
"Lily, no," Dresden hisses.
I hold my hand up. "Yes, Dresden. This is my job. No matter what, there's no denying that it's what I'm made for and the one thing I'm good at."
Blake stands and walks to my side, eyes full of hurt and longing.
"Lily . . . " he whispers.
Tears pool in my eyes. I still can't explain the connection I feel to him, but it doesn't matter. This morning was all smiles, giggles, and flirtation, but that's nothing but a dream for now.
I square my shoulders and turn to him, my intentions sending waves of pain through my body. I can feel the other's staring, making this harder . . . but I've no choice.
"Don't, Mason." His eyes widen at the name usage. "Jax is right. This," I gesture to him and me, "is nothing more than an impossibility."
"Bullshit, Lily," he growls lifting his hand to touch me. I grab his wrist and his jaw tightens.
"No," I whisper. "Trust me. You can't begin to imagine the depths of my depravity, and I'll never be able to give you what you deserve. You'll never be able to fix me."
The pain and hurt in his eyes matches my own. Choking back sobs, I walk briskly to my room, slamming the door behind me.
Falling on the bed, burying my face in a pillow, pain radiates through me, shattering my core as if for the first time.
17
~Lily~
I sit up, screaming.
Where am I?
My eyes dart around the room, the white walls glow eerily in the muted moonlight. Shadows from the deep oak furniture dance around me as my body shakes violently. My head's fuzzy and confused.
Blake's apartment.