She focused on Qhuinn, her stare locking on his. "Am I unpleasant to your eye, sire?" As he frowned, she prodded her cheekbones, her forehead. "Do I deviate from the ideal in a fashion which renders me--"
"God, no. What are you talking about? You're beautiful. "
"Then. . . whyfore do I remain un-called-upon. "
"I don't understand--we do call on you. Regularly. Myself and Blay and John. Rhage and V. You are the one we all ask for because you--"
"None of you use me for aught save blood. "
Blay rose from his kneel and backed up until his legs hit the chaise and he found himself sitting down. As his ass bounced on the cushion, the expression on Qhuinn's face almost made him laugh. The guy was never caught off guard. Part of that was because he'd been exposed to so much over his relatively short life, both by choice and by curse. And part was his personality. He handled himself in all situations. Period.
Except this one, evidently. Qhuinn looked like he'd been smacked in the back of the head with a pool cue.
"I. . . " Qhuinn cleared his throat. "I. . . I. . . "
Ah, yes, another first. Stuttering.
Layla filled the silence. "I serve the males and Brothers within this place with pride. I give without receiving anything in return because it is my training and pleasure to do so. But I tell you this because you have asked and. . . I find I must. Every time I return to the sanctuary or to the Primale's home, I find myself increasingly empty. To the point that I think I may step aside. Verily. . . " She shook her head. "I cannot keep doing this even though it is all I ever saw my endeavors entailing. It's just. . . my heart cannot go on. "
Qhuinn dropped his hands and rubbed his thighs. "Do you want. . . Would you want to keep going if you could?"
"Of course. " Her voice was strong and sure. "I am proud to be of service. "
Now Qhuinn was dragging a hand through his thick black hair. "What would it take. . . to fulfill you?"
It was like watching a train wreck roll out. Blay should have left but he couldn't move; he just had to witness the collision.
And naturally, Layla's brilliant blush made her even more beautiful. Then her full, lovely lips parted. Closed. Parted. . . closed again.
"It's okay," Qhuinn whispered. "You don't have to say it out loud. I know what you want. "
Blay felt a cold sweat break out over his chest and his hands cranked down on the clothes he'd picked out for himself.
"Who," Qhuinn asked hoarsely. "Who do you want. "
There was another long pause and then she said one word: "You. "
Blay stood up. "I'll leave you two. "
He was utterly blind as he made for the exit and he snagged his leather jacket on his way on instinct.
As he shut the door, he heard Qhuinn say, "We'll go very slowly. If we're going to do this, we're going to go very slowly. "
Out in the hall, Blay put some fast distance between himself and his bedroom, and it wasn't until he came up to the double doors that led into the staff wing that he realized he was walking around in a robe. Slipping into the set of stairs that led to the movie theater on the third floor, he changed into his clothes in front of the dormant popcorn machine.
The simmering anger deep in his gut was a kind of cancer, e
ating him up. But it was so baseless. So useless.
Blay stood facing the shelves of DVDs, the titles on the jackets nothing but a visual pattern to his eyes.
What he ended up reaching for wasn't a movie, however.
It was a slip of paper from his coat pocket.
Chapter Twenty-nine
As the door to the recovery room shut, Xhex felt like she should say something. Out loud. To Rehvenge. "So. Ah. " She pushed at her hair. "How are you--"