It was odd. . . providing her with a grounding place grounded himself, giving him a purpose and focus that was just as strong as the sexual ones had been only moments before. And in retrospect, he should have known this was coming. What had just happened was probably the first and only sexual experience she'd ever consented to. Female of worth from a high-blooded family? No way she would have been permitted to even hold hands with a male.
That symphath's violence had been all she'd ever known.
Goddamn him, he wanted to kill that bastard again.
"I don't. . . know why. . . I cry," she said eventually, the words dodging past her harsh exhales.
"I've got you," he murmured. "For as long as it takes, I got you. "
But the emotions were passing, her breathing easing, the sniffling not quite as prevalent.
It was all over after one last shuddering inhale. Then she was still and so was he.
"Talk to me. " He continued stroking her back. "Tell me where you're at. "
She opened her mouth as if she meant to answer, but then just shook her head.
"Well, I think you're very brave. "
"Brave?" She laughed. "How well you do not know me. "
"Very brave. This couldn't have been easy for you - and I'm honored that you let me. . . do what I did to you. "
Her face assumed a picture of confusion. "Why ever for?"
"It takes great trust, No'One - especially for someone with what happened to you in their background. "
With a frown, she seemed to retreat into herself.
"Hey," he said, putting his forefinger under her chin. "Look at me. " When she did, he traced her face lightly. "I wish I had something philosophical or poignant or. . . anything. . . to help you put shit in perspective. I don't, and I'm sorry for that. I know this, though. It takes true courage to break through the past, and you did that tonight. "
"I suppose we both have courage then. "
His eyes shifted away. "Yeah. "
There was a period of quiet, as if the past had sucked all of the energy out of both of them.
Abruptly, she asked, "Why is the aftermath so awkward? I feel so. . . apart from you. "
He nodded, thinking, Yeah, sex could be weird like that, even if there weren't complications of the kind they were rocking: Even if you didn't go all the way, the shattering closeness that was shared seemed to make the return to normal feel like distance in spite of the fact that you were lying side by side.
"I should go back to my room now," she said.
He pictured her down the hall, and thought that it seemed too far away. "Don't. Stay here. "
In the dim light, he could see she was frowning again. "Are you certain?"
He reached up and tucked away a blond escapee from her braid. "Yeah. I am. "
They stared at each other for the longest time, and somehow - maybe it was the vulnerable look in her eyes, maybe the line of her mouth; maybe he was reading her mind - he knew exactly what she was wondering.
"I knew it was you," he said softly. "The entire time. . . I knew it was you. "
"And that was. . . okay, to use your expression?"
He thought back to his mate. "You're nothing like Wellsie was. "
When he heard her clear her throat, he realized he'd spoken out loud. "No, what I mean is - "