"I was surprised you wanted me here - "
"I have failed you too many times to count. " As Xhex visibly recoiled, No'One nodded. "When I first arrived herein, I was overwhelmed by so much, lost though I spoke the language, isolated though I was not alone. I want you to know, however, that you are the real reason I came - and tonight, it is time that I apologized to you. "
"For what?"
"For abandoning you at your very beginning. "
"Jesus. . . " The female rubbed her short hair, her powerful body wincing in place, as if she were having to force herself not to bolt. "Ah, listen, there's nothing to apologize for. You didn't ask to be - "
"You were a young, newly born unto the world, without a mahmen to care for you. I left you to fend for yourself when you could do little more than cry for warmth and succor. I am. . . so sorry, my daughter. " She put her hand up to her heart. "It has taken me too long to find my voice and my words, but know th
at I have practiced this for hours in my head. I want what I say to you to be correct, because everything has been wrong between you and me from day one - and it is all my doing. I was so selfish, and I lacked courage, and I - "
"Stop. " Xhex's voice was strained. "Please. . . just stop - "
" - was wrong to ever turn my back on you. I was wrong to wait this long. I was wrong about everything. But this. " She stamped her foot. "This night I reveal to you all my faults, so that I may also pledge you my love, however imperfect and unwanted it is. I do not deserve to be your mother, or to call you daughter, but mayhap we may form a kind of. . . friendship. I can understand if this is unwanted as well, and I know that I have no right to demand anything from you. Just know that I am here, and my heart and mind are open to learning about who you are. . . and what you are. "
Xhex blinked once, and then stayed silent. As if what had been spoken to her had come over a bad radio frequency and she was forced to extrapolate meaning.
After a moment, the female said roughly, "I'm a symphath. You know that, right? The term 'half-breed' doesn't mean shit when the 'half' is sin-eater. "
No'One kicked up her chin. "You are a female of worth. That is what you are. I care naught for the composition of your blood. "
"You were terrified of me. "
"I was terrified of everything. "
"And you have to see that. . . male in my face. Every time you look at me, you have to remember what was done to you. "
At that, No'One swallowed hard. She supposed that part was true, but it was also the least important thing going forward: it was more than time to make this about her daughter. "You are a female of worth. That is what I see. Nothing more. . . and nothing less. "
Xhex blinked again. A couple of times. Then faster.
And then she lunged forward, and No'One found herself enveloped in a strong, sure embrace.
She did not hesitate for a moment to return the gesture of affection.
As she held on to her daughter, she thought, yes, indeed, forgiveness was best expressed through contact. Words could not give nuance to the sensation of holding what she had eschewed in a moment of great agony, of having her blood against her, of supporting the female, even just briefly, whom she had so selfishly wronged.
"My daughter," she said in a voice that cracked. "My beautiful, strong. . . worthy daughter. "
With a shaking hand, she cupped the back of Xhex's head and turned the female's face to the side, so that she held her upon her shoulder as she would have a babe. Then with soft, gentle strokes, she smoothed the short hair.
It was impossible to say that she was grateful for anything that symphath had done to her. But this moment took the sting away, this vital moment when she felt as if the circle that had started to be drawn in her womb had finally been completed, two halves that had long tarried apart, coming to cleave once more.
When Xhex eventually pulled back, No'One gasped. "You bleed!" Reaching up to her daughter's cheek, she cleared away the red drops with her hands. "I shall get Doc Jane - "
"Don't worry about it. It's just. . . yeah, nothing to worry about. It's the way I. . . cry. "
No'One put her hand on her daughter's face and shook her head in wonder. "You are nothing like me. " As the female looked away sharply, she said, "No, that is good. You are so strong. So powerful. I love that about you - I love all about you. "
"You can't mean that. "
"Your symphath side. . . it is a blessing of sorts. " As Xhex began disagreeing, No'One cut her off. "It gives you a layer of protection against. . . things. It gives you a weapon against. . . things. "
"Maybe. "
"Definitely. "