ELLIOT
She laid it all out for us, and by the time she was done, I was questioning my own sanity for going along with it.
“So we have six days to prepare for a massacre?” I asked, causing those icy blue eyes to swivel from Tristan to me.
Kenna, who had come out with Finn in the middle of Scarlet’s explanation, laughed out loud and quickly shut up when Scarlet swung those eyes to her.
“We’re back up, essentially,” she said, her voice tight.
“Back up,” I scoffed. “We aren’t going to be just back up. If he needs us and our men, he means for us to be an equal player in this game.”
“I think the pros weigh out the cons, El,” Tristan said. “We get the asshole that tried to kill Scarlet, we get a truce with her family, and we get to practically annihilate our only other competitor.”
“Not to mention they also kidnapped me and almost killed me. I think that should sweeten the pot a little, too,” she chimed in, laying her head against Sebastian’s shoulder while he stroked her hair.
I swallowed the jealousy that was fit to come to the surface. Now wasn’t the time to drag her off and go all caveman on her.
“May as well make myself useful,” Finn said from the kitchen. “I can go meet with some of the guys today, let them know what’s going on so that they can be prepared and ready to go on Sunday.”
“I’ll go with!” Kenna happily volunteered. I glanced over at Scarlet to see her reaction to her friend suddenly throwing herself into this life. Her eyes turned sad and worried, and I couldn’t blame her.
It would be hard to see someone you loved suddenly throwing themselves into the line of fire.
“If that’s okay with you guys,” Kenna amended, suddenly turning her worried eyes around to us all. “I don’t want to intrude or go anywhere you don’t want me seeing…”
“It’s fine, Ken Doll,” Sebastian said. He was just asking to get knocked out. Kenna hated it when he teased her like that, and I for one didn’t put it past her to beat the shit out of him. She may have been small, but I figured she had one hell of a right hook.
“Sebastian,” Scarlet said with a warning voice. “I will not protect you if Kenna decides to beat the shit out of you.”
“Don’t threaten me with a good time, baby,” he said, kissing the side of her neck until she broke out into a fit of giggles that made my cock come alive.
“I’m going to the gym,” I groaned, standing up and walking out of the room without giving any of them a second look.
They knew by now that I was fine with sharing her, but I was still struggling with seeing it happen in front of me. When I had heard the three of them fucking the other day, it was all I could do to not run in there and rip her out from between them.
I questioned daily what it was going to look like to have her in our lives long term. I had never seen anyone with the dynamic we had going. Not that that made what we had wrong, it just made it new territory.
Did she eventually marry one of us? And if she did, who would it be and why? Would she have kids with us? And what would that even look like? Would we play rock, paper, scissors for who got to knock her up first?
I walked to the back of the hall and shoved open the gym door, slamming it closed as I let my temper get the best of me. I walked over to the punching bag and let myself get out everything I’d let bottle up over the last few weeks.
I thought about what it would be like to see her carrying a child that wasn’t mine. What it would be like if she did want to marry into this family but didn’t choose me. But why would she anyway? What did I bring to the relationship that the other two didn’t?
Yes, we all had an equal say in every decision that was made, but anyone with eyes could tell it was Tristan who really called the shots. Tristan was the one with the business head and the one that knew how to keep his cool in hard situations. He was the one who’d got to carry her out of the basement after she’d gone through hell.
And Sebastian had her heart first. He was the first one to see her worth, to see that she belonged with us. He made her laugh harder than any of us did, and he was the most relaxed, making sure she was always comfortable, and he was always there to support her in anything she wanted, including sharing us.
But I wasn’t like either of them. I was hardheaded and had a temper that could set the fucking world on fire. My father had done a number on me when it came to trust, and it was hard to let anyone in, including her. I was the last one to cave, and even then, I hadn’t let her in easily.
Each punch that landed on the bag scraped against my knuckles, and I relished in the pain. It brought me back down to earth, letting me feel grounded instead of being trapped in my head.
I had been trapped in my head the entire time Scarlet was trying to break down my walls. And even when she finally did, I hadn’t let her in all the way. I had hurt her, tied her up, and made her do things on my terms. I wasn’t vulnerable with her, and I didn’t make love to her. I fucked her.
And if there were feelings for her, we hadn’t explored those yet. I wasn’t even sure I knew how.
I hadn’t heard anyone come in, so when Tristan tapped my shoulder, I swung and almost got him.
“I anticipated that,” he said, laughing as he popped back up from ducking. “What set you off this time?”
I grunted and turned back to the bag.
“She loves you, you know,” he said, coming around and standing next to the bag so that I would be forced to see him out of the corner of my eye. “She loves you, and she loves him, and she loves me. She may not have told you yet, but that’s just because you haven’t let her in. She doesn’t know how you feel about her. The only thing she gets from you is a hard dick and mood swings.”
I grabbed hold of the bag, stopping it from swinging, and looked him in the eyes.
“Talk to her,” he said.
“And tell her what? That the reason I’m such an asshole is because my dad royally fucked me up? That I can’t stand to be in the same room with you all whenever you guys make her happy because I can’t seem to do that?” I sighed and leaned my head against the cool leather.
“Yeah, I think that’s probably a good start,” he said, smiling at my obvious distress, which only made me more annoyed. “Look, you have to open up a little bit, let her in so that she can understand where you’re coming from. Seb and I can both see that you’re head over heels for her, mate. We’ve seen it for a while now. You just have to put in the work to make sure she knows it too.”
“Alright,” I conceded. I knew it was coming. If she was going to be a permanent fixture in our lives, I wasn’t going to be able to keep this up. “I’ll talk to her.”
“Maybe before we go into whatever war we’re entering on Sunday?” he asked, making his way back to the door. “I’d hate to have you telling her from your death bed or hers.”
With that, he left me to my own thoughts again. And fuck if he didn’t know how to strike a nerve. I didn’t like the thought of that conversation being my last with her.
“Fuck!” I shouted and laid into the punching bag once again.