ELLIOT
“I just remember feeling so relieved when he walked in,” I told her, looking over at her and giving her a small smile.
“As any child would be.” She nodded.
“I was about to learn, though, that he was the last person I ever wanted to see in a situation like that. Because when he walked over to me and saw me in that state…” I trailed off, finding it far more difficult than I thought it would be to get all of that shit out.
“Once he saw me in that state, I could see his eyes change. When I looked up at his face from where I was on the cold concrete floor, I knew he wasn’t there to save me. He was there to punish me.”
“Punish you,” she said, her voice almost cracking at the words. I knew this would be hard for her. It was hard for Tristan to hear, and it was even harder for Seb to learn. If my father hadn’t been dead by the time Seb had found out, he would’ve made sure he was.
“He crouched down and looked at me, and I remember there was this…disgust in his eyes. His lip was turned up, and he just looked evil to me in that moment. So I cowered away from him, and he called me all the names under the sun. I was a coward. I was the stupidest fucking child the ancestors could have ever fucking punished him with. I was an embarrassment to the family, and I would stay in that basement until I had learned my lesson.”
“What the fuck kind of lesson was he trying to teach you?” she asked, her voice raised in outrage. When I looked over at her, only taking my eyes off the road for a moment, I could see the pain in them, and that was why I had never wanted to tell her. I didn’t want her to look at me differently or pity me. I just wanted her to understand why I had been so hard to crack and why I would always be the person I was.
“He wanted me to never trust anyone, Scarlet. He didn’t want me to trust my family, my teachers, my friends, or a stranger on the street. He wanted me to be self-sufficient in the most fucked-up way. So he left me there to rot in that basement. It was dark, and I lost all track of time. I cried and cried and cried until I didn’t have any tears left.
“When the tears dried up, my fear turned to anger. And I told myself I would never let anyone in, that I would do just what my father wanted. I shut a part of myself off that I’ve never been able to turn back on. If it weren’t for my mother, I think I would’ve died in that basement. I don’t know if my father told her I was down there or if she had just been looking for me.
“But she walked down those stairs after days and days of me being on my own. And when she found me, I just stared at her. She cried and tried to get me to talk to her. She cut me loose and pulled me into her arms. But I just stood there, limply letting her hug me until she finally gave up.
“I think she realized in that moment that my father had won. My father had broken me, and she wouldn’t be getting her little boy back ever again.”
“My god, Elliot. I’m so, so sorry.”
“She carried me up the stairs—I was too weak to walk on my own. I learned later that I had been kept down in that basement for five days without food or water. I’m still kind of shocked that I survived. But she bathed me and gave me food and water. I went to bed that night and slept for three days straight.”
“What happened after that? What did your teachers think? Did anyone report you missing?”
“Of course not,” I answered her. “My father took care of all of that. They just thought I had come down with the flu or something. No need to worry. After that, I just went back to school like nothing had happened.”
She sighed and turned to face forward, looking out the windshield and trying to discreetly wipe her tears away.
“Hey,” I said, grabbing her hand and squeezing it softly. “I didn’t tell you this story to make you feel bad for me or to excuse my behavior. I don’t want your pity, and there’s no excuse for how I act sometimes. I’m an adult, and I should be able to move past my demons. But I either can’t or just don’t want to badly enough.”
She looked over at me, her eyes watery.
“I told you this so that you would know that me not trusting you was not something I did because there was something wrong with you. I never want you to think there is anything wrong with you, Scarlet. You’re perfect, and you deserve to be loved and trusted. And I’m trying. I promise I am trying every day to be the best man I can be for you.
“Because the guys are right. You are important, you are perfect for us, and I do love you.” I choked out those last words and fought through the burning in my throat. “I love you. But I may not always be strong enough to trust you. I may not always be strong enough to share you or watch you with them, and I may not always be strong enough to trust your intentions and decisions. But I love you, and I never want you to think otherwise.
“I’m not a good man,” I said, my voice cracking as the tears finally won. “But I want to be for you.”
I couldn’t look at her. If I looked at her, I wouldn’t be able to hold back the sobs of that little five-year-old boy that was locked in a basement by his father. I heard her shuffling in her seat, and then the car began to ding as she unbuckled herself and moved into my space. Her slender arms wrapped themselves around me as best they could in the tight space.
“Elliot,” she whispered, letting her forehead lean against the side of my head. “You are not a good man,” she said, and I could feel my stomach fall through my ass. “You are a great man, and I love you too.”
I whipped my head towards her, almost smacking her in the face with my own as the car swerved. She laughed, and I turned my attention back to the road, righting us before I ran us off the road.
“I do not pity you, but I do hurt for that little boy that got abused by his own family so badly that he shut off a part of himself. And any issues that they may cause in this relationship can be worked through. I happen to find your caveman moods to be very, very hot,” she said, biting the sensitive skin of my ear. “But I never want you to feel like I love either of them more than I love you. I love you all equally and for different reasons. But you all have my love, and I will treat you all as fairly as I possibly can.
“And,” she said, cutting off what I was going to say next, “if you ever have any issues with how the relationship is working, you need to come to us, or at least one of us. You need to communicate, okay?”
I nodded and turned my head to give her a hard peck on the mouth. She smiled back at me and kissed my cheek before sitting back in her seat and buckling up.
“Thank you for listening to Tristan and opening up to me.”
“Yeah, well,” I said, taking a deep breath as we got closer to our next rendezvous. “This was never going to work if I didn’t. And there’s a lot more,” I told her as we pulled into the gravel parking lot that was about a block away from where the happy couple was celebrating their wedding. “But we don’t have all day. I’d like to tell you about it all eventually. I want you to know everything there is to know about me.”
“On your own time,” she said, running her hand down my cheek and then squeezing my shoulder where it fell. “But you’re right. Right now, it’s time to go get some revenge.”
She winked at me and then hopped out of the car.