The Problem Child (Emerson Pass Historicals 4)

“He mentioned it yesterday after church.”

“Were you at church with Neil and Emma?” My real question was if Viktor had been there with Emma. Jealously reared its ugly head once more. What was she to him really? Was I in jeopardy of losing him if I didn’t figure out my own mind?

“I was there with Neil. Emma wasn’t there. She had something else to do.”

I felt immediate relief.

“How was last night?” Poppy asked me.

“Let’s say I caved under the moon.”

Poppy squealed. “Did you kiss him?”

“You could say that. It was the silly moon. Who could stay sane with it overhead like that?”

“You’re the most infuriating girl in the world. Why didn’t you tell me first thing? Did you like it? Isn’t kissing the bee’s knees?”

I couldn’t help but smile. “It was surprisingly pleasant.”

“You’re impossible. Why are you resisting giving in to love?” Poppy asked.

“I’m afraid to lose myself.” That was as honest as I could be.

“What if you find another part of yourself? One that makes you even better?”

“Is that what you believe?” I asked.

“I don’t know. I’m in love, that’s all I know for now.”

Despite my worry about the future, I smiled. “I’m happy for you.”

She tucked her arm into mine. “I’m happy for me too.”

We ate our lunch and watched a group of ducks bobbing in the shallow parts of the river. “My parents think I should go to college.”

“What? Do you want to? You’ve never said anything about that. I’m not holding you back, am I?”

“No, no. I love working with you. I don’t want to go, but they think it would help me to get away from here for a while.”

“But why?”

I sighed and told her about the competition as well as my argument with Flynn. “It was a terrible row. He said if he were Papa he would make me marry Viktor.”

“He said that?”

“In front of everyone, including Viktor.”

Poppy brought her napkin to her mouth. “You must have been mortified.”

“I was. Anyway, after dinner, Papa and Mama asked me into their study for a talk. They asked how I felt about Viktor, and I couldn’t lie. I told them I was in love with him but that I didn’t feel ready to be a wife and mother.”

“What did they say to that?”

“They suggested college and some time away.”

“But that’s not what you want?”

“I don’t want to take the chance that he gives up on me and marries Emma. My parents are smart. They know that and are trying to push me into a decision. This whole ski jumping thing brought everything out into the open. Maybe they’re right. Should I just leave and let Viktor get on with things?”

“That’s not what you want.”

“You should have heard what Viktor said to me after Flynn stormed out.” I summed it up as best I could Viktor’s declarative speech that I was not to make myself small. “He said I should shine and he’ll bask in my glow.”

“Oh, that Viktor. He’s one of a kind. What a good man he is. One who understands and accepts you as you are.” Poppy beamed as she squeezed my hand. “You two are the perfect match.”

“Maybe.” Were we? Or did he deserve better? A woman like Emma? “I believe Papa’s pushing me a bit to see if I’ll make a decision about Viktor. They all seem to think I have to be tricked into things.”

“Well, you’re as stubborn as a mule.”

“I’m more like a goat, wild and unruly.”

“At least you don’t eat hats,” Poppy said. “I’m sorry about the competition. I wish you could compete.”

“My own brother won’t open the races to women. I wanted to punch him I was so angry.”

“I understand why you’d feel that way, but it’s not surprising. I’m not sure why it would be to you.”

“I thought Flynn would see my side.”

“He’s a man in a powerful position. They don’t have to see our side of things.” Poppy squinted out to the river where a breeze made ripples in the water. “Cym, at some point, you have to accept what is and decide where you can find joy within the parameters of conventional society. And your father’s right. It’s not fair to Viktor to string him along.”

“I’m not doing that.”

“Are you sure?” Poppy asked.

I debated for a moment about whether to tell her Viktor’s idea that I dress up as a man. She could be trusted, of course. But the more people knew, the less likely I could keep it a secret. Plus, she would be Neil’s wife soon. If my siblings’ marriages were any indication, spouses shared everything.

“Enough about that,” I said. “When will you and Neil marry?”

“As soon as possible. Something small out at my brother’s place.”

Her brother, Harley, and his wife, Merry, had worked for Papa when we were all young. Now, he and Merry bred horses out at their farm. Poppy’s house was on the same piece of property not far from them. “Will Neil move into your home?”

“Yes, since he and Emma are living in rooms above their feed store, it’s our best option.”

At the thought of Emma, I tossed the rest of my sandwich back into its wrapper and got up to walk down to the water’s edge. A hawk screamed and swept over the water looking for his lunch. Poppy came to stand beside me. We stood there quietly for a moment. The rush of water over stones upriver soothed my nerves. Whatever happened would happen. I would not shy away from any of it. Not the race or Viktor.

Poppy turned and walked back to our picnic table, leaving me there to watch a poor fish get pulled from the river by the hawk.