ChapterOne
At seven o’clock on a Friday night, Ashley once again found herself in the cozy wine bar where she’d met Carla in September. It was hard to believe how much had happened since then, and Ashley suppressed a smile as she absently ran her fingers up and down the stem of her wine glass.
Things were not perfect by any means, but Ashley tried to focus on what was working, on how much she enjoyed being with Carla, even if no one could know about it.
Tonight, it would have been so much easier to send a text or make a phone call, like normal people, when they wanted to see each other, but they’d agreed, from the beginning, that it was better if there wasn’t any trace of communication between them.
So, Ashley was sitting at the bar, staring out the window, watching the snow dance to the ground from underneath the streetlight, waiting to see if Carla would walk through the door.
They hadn’t seen each other since before the holidays. They knew between Christmas, New Year’s, and one of Carla’s friends from college getting married that this was the soonest they’d be able to see each other. And it wasn’t by any means a definite thing.
Carla had a work dinner tonight, and she wasn’t sure how soon she’d be able to get away.
But this was their secret meeting place. Hanging around Carla’s apartment or her office on campus was too risky for Carla, and Ashley had gone along with it, even though, technically, it wasn’t against their school’s rules for a student and teacher to date.
But it was on nights like this that Ashley was starting to wonder if that was even what they were doing. Dating. In some ways, it felt like they were solid. Just about every weekend was spent together, always at Carla’s apartment, and it was a routine that they’d easily slipped into. Cooking together. Watching a movie. And plenty of time spent in Carla’s bed.
From Friday until Sunday evening, Ashley felt perfectly comfortable at Carla’s. But as it got later on Sunday, Ashley felt that ticking clock. She’d never stayed over on a Sunday night, because on Monday, they were back to being student and teacher, and Carla taught Ashley’s first class of the week, on Monday morning.
So, they drew that line, although Ashley had been leaving later and later as the Sundays went by. And things had been so good during those weekends together, but this break, going their separate ways to spend time with family over the holidays, had taken a toll on Ashley.
What it had really done was make her painfully aware of how crazy she was about Carla Lawless. This was so much more than a crush on her professor. And in just a few more months, thankfully, Carla would no longer be her professor, and they could just be together. A normal couple.
If that was still what Carla wanted.
Ashley had been too afraid to bring it up. They rarely talked about college when they were together. It was the elephant in the room. And they danced around it, sometimes forgetting when one of them asked how the other’s day went and inevitably another professor’s name came up and it got awkward quickly.
So, they did their best to avoid talking about anything related to their normal daily lives at college.
And it wasn’t that hard to do, because even after three months of sneaking around like this, their connection, their chemistry was as hot as ever. Maybe, it was because they were limited to the weekends. Or maybe, it was because they were hiding from the rest of the world and that secrecy had heightened their feelings.
That was what Ashley was afraid of. That if they did start telling people this summer, if they did start seeing each other during the week, or even ended up moving in together that it wouldn’t be the same. That it would get boring fast. That Carla would lose interest in her.
Ashley knocked back what was left of her wine. She hated letting her mind go there, but it was happening more and more as the weeks went on and the end of her time as a student came closer.
She should have been excited that it was January, that in just a few months, she’d be finished with college, but the fear, the doubt surrounding them, kept her from being optimistic about her future with Carla.
Ashley drummed her short, navy nails against the bar as she looked around her, debating whether to have another drink at the bar or to leave all the happy couples occupying the tables, a candle flickering between them, to enjoy their night while she went home. Alone.
Ashley’s breath caught when she turned to see who had opened the door, letting in that blast of cold air. She could have sworn her heart stalled as Carla came inside, a black scarf around her neck, tucked into her red winter coat, her knee-high boots clicking against the wooden floor, her dark hair falling across her shoulders.
Carla’s eyes found hers instantly, a smile on those gorgeous lips. “Hey,” she said, leaning in to give Ashley a hug. “I was afraid you’d be gone.”
“Hi.” Ashley inhaled that sweet perfume that still managed to do something to her months later. It would always remind her of Carla and those nights they’d spent tangled in her sheets. She pulled away to meet Carla’s eyes. “Can I get you a drink? I was just about to order another.”
Carla shook her head. “There’s no way I can sit here…” She glanced around her before lowering her voice so that only Ashley could hear. “And not touch you. Not kiss you.” Carla’s eyes searched hers. “I’ve missed you so much.”
A warmth spread through Ashley’s entire body as she took in Carla’s words. “Almost three weeks. But I’m glad that I’m not the only one.” Ashley bit her lip. “I missed you like crazy.”
“Then let’s go.”
Ashley settled up her tab and slid her arms into her coat before following Carla out of the bar, unable to keep the smile off her face.