Pushing the Limit

Peppermint

Iwatch in horror as Owen chokes Dash down, his body going limp as he’s lowered to the floor. When I heard the two of them were matched, I didn’t know how to react. Didn’t know who I wanted to be the successor.

I care so much about them both in different ways. Owen represents the part of my life where I was pushing the limit to my beliefs of what a relationship should be like. He made me question every decision I had made. Made me wonder what life I could have if I would just take a leap of faith and walk away from the life I knew. I cheated on my boyfriend with him. I was willing to give up everything for him. But life had other plans, and those thoughts of a new life morphed into something else. A life with Ryan and Ryder. And I don’t regret that. Not for one second.

Sure, I may wonder what my life would’ve been like had I chosen Owen. But regret? No. I had a good life with Ryan. He loved his son and was a great father and a good husband. For all I know, Owen could’ve been the same.

Then, there’s Dash. For months we played this flirting game. Any time we were around each other, there was always this tension, this chemistry. I ignored it as long as I could because of the age difference. Held back until finally I said screw it.

He makes me laugh. He makes me smile. He makes me feel young. And somewhere in the middle of all that, I fell in love with him.

“Damn, that was brutal,” Ryder comments. “I thought for sure the other guy was going to win. He was fighting like he had something to lose.”

“They hate each other,” I explain.

“Well, Owen…isn’t that what you said his name is? He was fighting to show off in my opinion. And who’s the other guy? Do you know him too?”

“Yes. His name is Dash.”

“Holy shit. My mom has a crush,” Ryder jokes. “Good for you. Be sure you fill Owen in on that.”

Owen grins over at me, his eye nearly swollen shut. I should be happy for him. It shouldn’t matter to me who won this fight.

But it does.

My heart aches seeing Dash on the floor, knowing he’s hurt. It wouldn’t matter who his opponent was, I wanted him to be the victor. Owen steps away, giving Dash a shove with his foot, and heads toward me.

“How’d you like the show, kid?” Owen asks Ryder.

Ryder shrugs. “Thought the other guy had you.”

“Not a chance.”

“Mom, I’m going to find my friends,” Ryder says. “Congrats on the fight, man.”

Owen pulls me to him, wrapping his arms around me. He kisses me, and it’s different. It’s strange. Feels like I’m some sort of trophy he just won and he’s celebrating that.

“Owen,” I say, trying to break the kiss. “Owen.”

“I won, baby!” he yells, spinning me around.

Clearly, adrenaline is still pumping through his veins. I give him a tight smile and manage a “Congratulations,” but my focus is on Dash as he gets up and walks away.

“We need to celebrate,” Owen says, his voice husky.

“Okay, how about some drinks?” I suggest.

His lips trail down my neck as he gives my ass a nice squeeze. This used to make me fucking swoon. Made me fall head over heels for this man. I don’t have that same reaction now. I’ve been lying to myself, trying to convince myself we deserve a second chance.

Convincing myself of that kept me from dwelling on the fact that I’d fallen for a younger man, and he’d chosen to end things. I was so heartbroken about Dash ditching me, I didn’t really think about the real reasons it didn’t work with Owen the first go-round.

Finding out I was pregnant with Ryder wasn’t the only reason. It was a major one, but not the only one. Those reasons come back as he celebrates beating Dash.

He wasn’t aware of my needs and feelings. He put a ton of pressure on me to sneak away and see him, knowing at times I couldn’t. When I didn’t, he would be pissed. He would make jokes about how he could get his dad’s club to take care of Ryan so he didn’t have to share me. He wanted to own me.

And then there was my insecurity with him. Times I wondered if he was cheating on me, not that I could say anything. But there wasn’t a time when we were together where I felt like I was the only one. And since I’m being honest with myself, I don’t feel like that now.

With Dash, I haven’t doubted that. Haven’t wondered who he’s with or what he’s doing aside from the beginning of our relationship. And he never indicated he was having sex with other women while he was having sex with me. Yes, I’ve seen other women around him, but I trust him. I didn’t even believe that He ended things because he got scared. Skylar told me to push. Fight for him. And I intend to do exactly that.

“Owen,” I say, taking a step back. His hands linger on my hips. “This isn’t what I want. I’m sorry if I made you feel like we had a second chance.”

“What are you talking about? We do! We can pick up right where we left off.”

I shake my head. “But I don’t want to. I don’t want to live in the past.”

He digs his fingertips into my hips, urging me closer. “Past, future, it doesn’t really matter. We get to be together. Whatever you had with that boy is over,” he says. “I won, fair and square.”

“What do you mean by that?”

He heaves out a sigh. “I know you had something going with that little shit. Didn’t you see that fucker go down? It’s over, Piper! I won!”

“You won the fight,” I state, shoving him back. “Not me.”

I’m not a damn trophy or possession. Not for him.