I began to walk.
“Odasaku!”
I was stopped by a familiar voice the moment I left the restaurant.
“Dazai? What’s wrong?”
“Odasaku, I know what you’re thinking, but don’t. Doing that isn’t going to—”
“Isn’t going to bring the kids back?” I asked.
Lost for words, Dazai fell silent. Then he said, “Judging by the scale of past skirmishes, I have a good idea of how many Mimic soldiers are left. There’s a little over twenty of them, and they’re resting up for battle as we speak. They’ve most likely set up base in the western mountain district. I’m gonna go look into it, and—”
“I already know where they are. They left me an invitation.”
I handed Dazai the map with the inscription Ghost Graveyard that I’d found earlier. He furrowed his brows when he looked at it.
“They’re gathering their troops all in one spot. I’m not sure the Mafia can defeat them even if we mobilize all our men.”
“That won’t be necessary.”
“Odasaku, listen. The boss had a secret meeting a few hours ago. He met with the Special Division for Unusual Powers, and Ango was the mediator. The meeting was so secret that I couldn’t get any more information, but there’s still something fishy going on with this Mimic stuff. I can feel it. So until we know what that is—”
“‘Something’?” I looked at Dazai. “There isn’t anything, Dazai. It’s all over. Everything. Whatever else happens now is meaningless—just like what I’m about to do. Am I wrong?”
“Odasaku…,” Dazai said softly. “Forgive me for the absurd wording, but—don’t go. Find something to rely on. Expect good things to happen from here on out. There’s gotta be something… Hey, Odasaku, do you know why I joined the Mafia?”
I stared at him. We had known each other for a long time, but he’d never even attempted to talk about that.
“I joined the Mafia because of an expectation I had. I thought if I was close to death and violence—close to people giving in to their urges and desires, then I would be able to see the inner nature of humankind up close. I thought if I did that…” Dazai paused before continuing, “…I would be able to find something—a reason to live.”
I looked at him; he looked back at me.
“I wanted to be a novelist,” I said. “I thought I wouldn’t deserve such a life if I killed someone during a mission. That’s why I never killed anyone. But that’s all in the past. There’s only one thing I want now.”
“Odasaku!”
I began to walk away. Dazai yelled out, but I didn’t turn around.
Heading west, I started my journey.
Just like always, everyone walked in whatever direction they pleased. They all had somewhere to go, someone to meet, a home to return to. That was the world we lived in. That was the world I wanted to write about in my novel. That was the world the kids were supposed to belong to, where they’d each walk the streets however they pleased.
—“They all found peace. Nobody can take that away from them.”
I recalled what Ango said that day long, long ago. Were the kids somewhere peaceful? Or had they become ghosts to wander the world of the living?
Just like Gide…and me.
As I was walking, I bumped into a small young man coming from the opposite direction.
“Whoa!”
Nothing happened to me, but the young man lost balance and fell on his rear. Everything he’d been carrying scattered across the ground.
“What d’you think you’re doing?! Watch where you’re going! With eyes that high up, you oughta be real good at that! Ugh… All the detective equipment the boss gave me…”
I helped the young man pick up his scattered belongings: recording paper, a pen, a camera, and a bag for storing forensic evidence. Maybe he was a forensic technician on a murder case.