I Am the Messenger
Page 159
From the porch, he says, "Do you still need that money, Ed?" He looks at me, concerned. "I'm sorry--I forgot all about it."
"Don't worry," I tell him. "I don't think I'll be needing it after all."
I've got an old derelict cassette player under my arm with a tape inside it.
As I walk, Marv throws his voice out and ropes me back to face him.
He looks at me thoughtfully and says, "Did you ever need it?"
I walk closer.
"No." I shake my head. "No, Marv, I didn't."
"Then why"--he comes down the steps to face me properly--"then why did you say--"
"I kept that card I got in the mail, Marv." If Ritchie deserved the truth, so does Marv. I explain it to him. All of it. "Marv, I've been through diamonds, clubs, spades, and I've got one more heart to go."
"Was that where I--"
"Yes, Marv," I answer. "You were in hearts."
Quiet.
Perplexed.
Marv stands on my front lawn and has no idea what to say--but he looks happy.
When I'm nearly gone, he calls out, "Is the last one Audrey?"
I turn and look at hi
m, walking backward.
"Well, good luck!" he answers.
This time I smile and wave.
It all happens as usual, except tonight the radio I've brought sweats next to me as the moon rises, falls, and fades when morning finally approaches. I wonder for a moment why I didn't just set my alarm at home and come over at dawn, but I know I have to do this right. I had to suffer the night to do this properly.
My legs stretch out, but the night stretches further. First light frightens me.
I'm swaying toward sleep in the park when I hear a door slam and Simon's car start up. He exits the town house complex with a quiet, clumsy turn onto the street. A minute passes, but I realize that now is the time. It all feels right.
The radio. The light.
And now, my footsteps toward Audrey's front door.
I knock.
No answer.
Again, I clench my fist, but just as I'm about to hit the wood again, a crack appears in the doorway and Audrey's tired voice edges through it. "Did you forget some--" Her voice props.
"It's me," I say.
"Ed?"
"Yes."