All Tied Up

She let the seat ease backward and turned on her side, facing him, her hands under her cheek. As she watched him, she asked, “This won’t end at the trial, will it?”

His gut twisted with that question. She didn’t understand how true her assumption was. He’d learned the hard way. He’d lost a brother when the legal system failed. “Even if we put away Alvarez, Carlos will keep coming. For me. For you. For anyone he can bleed for vengeance. So in answer to your question, no, it won’t end with this trial.”

She was silent for several seconds. “Capture him and I promise to convict him.”

He glanced at her. She couldn’t promise that. She knew it as well as he did.

Darkness slid through him. He was angry. At himself for failing his brother. At the system for failing his brother. And at Nicole for working both sides of that system.

“You and I know that attorneys can get criminals off. You’ve done it yourself.” The air chilled with his words but he pressed onward. “I get that you think you’re cleaning your soul by doing things by the book. But frankly, sometimes that book does more harm than good.”

“So murder is okay if you do it for the right reason?”

Who was she to judge him? “I’m not after a big salary or even recognition. I simply want Alvarez and Carlos stopped.”

“You bastard,” she hissed at him. “That was a horrible thing to say to me.”

“I’m just speaking the truth, sweetheart, and I didn’t say you. I meant in general. Tell me. How does the possibility of letting someone like Alvarez or Carlos walk on a damn technicality make you feel? It’s okay to let them go and damage more people’s lives? You can live with that?”

“No one says they will walk. But what would you have me do? Fabricate evidence to ensure convictions?”

“If you know that person is guilty, and you know they will kill innocent people, how can you let them get away with it?”

Her voice was a bit breathless. “I don’t know what happened to you while you were with Alvarez, but whatever it was, it’s destroyed your perspective.” Her tone grew stronger, more forceful. “You can’t work within a system you don’t support. You can’t convict criminals when you are willing to become one.”

“Don’t you get it?” he asked, laughing bitterly. “The system asked me to become one. That was the only way to take down Alvarez. You use all the wrongs done by people like me to make your cases and yourself feel safe and honorable. I am what I am because of the system. Hate me if you will, but if you fail to convict Alvarez or even Carlos, I’ll finish the job for you.”

He focused on the road, knew he was right about what he’d said, yet he could feel the heat of her angry stare, feel her judgment, her disapproval. And it bothered him. He tightened his grip on the steering wheel. Why? Why did this woman get to him so damn badly? Why did he care what she thought?

She said nothing more, turning away from him, offering him her back. He’d succeeded in pushing her away. Good. So why did he feel like absolute shit?

***

NICOLE JERKED AWAKE, her sleep restless, her conflict with Constantine—along with worry for her family—tormenting her thoughts.

She sat up as they pulled into a hotel parking garage. “Why are we stopping?”

“I need rest and to eat a real meal.” He didn’t look at her as he pushed the car door open and stepped outside.

She sat there a minute, debating how to handle him, noting his wording—“I” not “we.” The tension from their argument remained as thick as the Texas heat, oppressive and ready to suffocate any cordiality left between them. And it bothered her. It bothered her in a big way.

She’d spent considerable time during the drive pretending to sleep, fretting over their argument. Trying to figure out why their conflict mattered so much. He’d been a complete jerk, saying things intentionally to hurt her. Painful things that hit a nerve because they were the same words she said to herself deep in the night when sleep refused to come.

Constantine pushed the limits of every rule he came in contact with. He was wild, living dangerously close to the edge of trouble, justifying his actions in the name of honor. He represented everything she’d been running from in her life. Running being the operative word. But it seemed she couldn’t run from her past anymore. Inviting a renegade FBI agent into her bed proved that. What that meant exactly she hadn’t decided. All she knew was she would not be intimidated or crushed by a few harsh words spoken by Constantine or anyone else.

And no matter what his claim, he’d rather defeat Alvarez and Carlos in a courtroom than outside the law. Otherwise, he would have taken one of the chances he claimed he possessed while undercover to kill them. He did want to do what was right. He was simply feeling the effects of three years in a hellhole.