Dearly Despised (Calluvia's Royalty 5)

“She’s my mother. I can sense it. And lately, she hasn’t even asked about my health and the drug, which definitely isn’t normal. It almost seems as though she doesn’t care about it anymore and has her mind preoccupied with something else. It worries me.”

Warrehn frowned, stroking Samir’s lower back absently. “Can’t you ask her what’s wrong?”

“I have,” Samir said, somehow managing to press closer to him. “She changed the subject and pretended she had no idea what I’m talking about. She’s good at it.” He put his head back on Warrehn’s chest and sighed, radiating comfy-good-secure.

They were silent for a while before Samir murmured, “Is this freaking you out, too?”

He didn’t need to clarify what he meant.

Warrehn exhaled audibly, not knowing what to say. He couldn’t deny that it felt good to hold another person. Ever since his arrival to Calluvia, he had felt… lonely. He might have found his brother, but their relationship had never quite progressed to physical comfort before Eridan decided to return to the High Hronthar. Other than Eridan and Rohan—and the latter was too busy with his own clan’s affairs—he didn’t have anyone he trusted enough to drop his guard around, much less to hug. There had been Sirri briefly, but their relationship wasn’t quite that of friends and definitely not the kind of friends that hugged.

So holding Samir and feeling his solid, warm body in his arms felt satisfying in ways Warrehn tried not to think about. He felt more content than he’d felt in… possibly ever.

“It’s likely the drug,” he said, staring at the ceiling blankly.

“Maybe,” Samir said, nuzzling his chest. “Or maybe it’s normal. I’ve never had a regular sex partner I could cuddle with, so I wouldn’t know. The escorts I’ve hired on pleasure planets were obviously total strangers. I always felt so stressed that my preferences in bed would be leaked, so it wasn’t exactly relaxing. The scandal would have been ugly if people found out that their future king hired prostitutes to degrade him and treat him roughly in bed.”

Realizing he was holding Samir tighter than needed, Warrehn breathed deeply, fighting the vicious possessiveness, and forced himself to loosen his arms. He was the one in control, not the drug.

But it was also puzzling. He hadn’t felt this possessive when Samir had told him that he’d had sex four times before him, and that had been less than a month ago. Why was this shit getting worse?

“No,” Samir said, squirming closer. “Do it again. Tighter.”

Surprised, Warrehn slowly complied, tightening his arms again.

A small moan left Samir’s lips. “Tighter.”

Warrehn held him tighter, so tightly his grip was probably bruising, but Samir only radiated contentment, pleasure, and peace. Fuck, he felt perfect in his arms, and although Warrehn’s cock was half-hard again, he didn’t really feel any urgency to do anything about it. He didn’t want to move.

“Has Eridan left, by the way?” Samir said sleepily, breaking the companionable silence.

“Yes, just a few hours ago. His Master came for him, and of course he went.” Warrehn couldn’t quite keep the bitterness out of his voice.

Samir nuzzled his chest, his lips brushing against Warrehn’s nipple. “So the rumors are true? They’re in a relationship?”

Warrehn opened his mouth but went still, realizing with a jolt that he had been about to tell Samir about his brother’s forbidden relationship with the High Adept of the High Hronthar, his teacher. Fuck. When had he let his guard down so much?

“Yes,” Warrehn said after a moment, figuring in the end that it was a good test of whether he could trust Samir a little. For all his faults, Idhron was fully capable of protecting Eridan if someone attempted to spread malicious rumors again—most of the press was in Idhron’s pocket.

Samir hummed and went quiet for a while, tracing a finger over Warrehn’s ribs absently. “You feel bitter and hurt about your brother leaving. And you blame yourself for your inability to keep him here. I can sense it so clearly when I’m touching you.”

Stiffening, Warrehn said nothing.

Samir stroked his chest carefully, as if soothing an angry animal. “I think you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. If he chose to return to his old life, it doesn’t mean he didn’t like the life you offered. When you brought him here, he probably felt like his whole world was turned upside down. I know I did when I learned you were alive.”

Frowning, Warrehn looked at him carefully. “That’s different, though.”

“Is it?” Samir said in a mild tone. “My mother raised me as a future king since I was a small child. I grew up with the knowledge that would be my life. When you came back…” He lifted his gaze and looked Warrehn in the eyes. “I felt like everything I knew about my life—about who I am—was a lie. I imagine your brother must have felt like that. Anchorless.”