Love (Gimme 6)

I sit in my car, pressing my forehead to the top of the steering wheel and hoping he didn’t see me because my shame is already great. I’m almost on my feet. Another month and I can afford an apartment and have three months rent. I’ve been saving, but I wanted to have a plan should I not have a job for some reason. That’s a risk I didn’t want to take. Given everything I’ve gone through, I know how easy your life can fall apart.

Gathering my strength, I shake off that embarrassment and tuck the fruit I took from Miss Callahan’s garden into my cooler bag and start my car. I could really use a shower. One of the worst things about being homeless is no place to wash up. Thankfully, I have a friend who works at the YMCA and she lets me come in and use the showers. She’d let me stay at her house and use her shower, but she lives next door to my stepfather and I refuse to be that close to him.

A chill runs down my spine just thinking of the jerk and I hope I never see him or my mother again. Not that she’d come looking for me because she took off first.

“Ah there you are. I was wondering when you’d get here. It’s still pretty empty, so you can just relax if you need to.”

“Thanks, Lila. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Smell for sure, but you don’t have to worry about that. How are things going? Are you any closer to finding a safe place? I hate your situation.”

“Don’t worry about me. I promise I’m going to be okay. I’ve been saving my money for six months.”

“Yeah, but you were only working part-time before. That fucking asshole.” She slaps her hand over her mouth remembering she’s at work, but there’s no one around.

“One of these days, I’ll be on my feet.”

“Maybe you’ll find a handsome prince to rescue you.”

“Ha. Girl, please. I live in my car and rely on your generosity to get a clean shower a couple of times a week.”

“This sucks ass. I have money saved up if you need it.”

“No, you need yours.” She’s a year younger than me so she still has senior year coming. Her mother lost her job and her dad is now the sole breadwinner which means she doesn’t have the life of luxury as much as they used to even though her mother pretends they do. Her spending habits are worse than the government’s.

“I will head in there before the spin class is over and the ladies rush in.”

“Get to it. There’s twenty minutes left.” I hurry to the showers and wash up. It feels good to get clean, scrubbing my long light brown hair and leaving it soft and smooth. I just wrap up in my towel when the spin class group of ladies comes in. Some wave to me and I nod and smile back, having encountered many of them here before. Thankfully, no one ever questions me and what I do while I’m here, so I get out of there without incident.

I don’t say goodbye to Lila because we don’t like to draw attention to each other when it’s crowded just in case anyone should get suspicious.

Luckily, I just managed my fresh wash and now I can go to work at the local Walmart which isn’t far from the Y. I barely walk into the store when I’m confronted by the front-end manager. “Hey, can you take the register and relieve Tammy for her break?”

“Sure. Just let me clock in, and I’ll get right to it.” I follow orders well because I want to just get my job done and not be hassled by anyone. It’s not my dream job nor do I have plans to make it my career. However, you never know what life brings you and so far my life has been a fucked-up mess.

“Get to it before you’re late.” I look at the clock and I have ten minutes before my start time. I roll my eyes as I walk to the back. Taking a deep breath, I remember that I need this job and I’m not qualified for anything else. At least nothing that requires a college degree since I’ve only been out of high school for a month. Of course that was the day my life flipped upside down.

I clock in and walk over to Tammy’s register where the manager’s lingering.

“Haley, when you get done with Tammy’s break, you can relieve Krystal for hers. Thanks.” She smiles and walks away.

“Thanks, girl, my feet are killing me.” She’s five months pregnant. “I’ve only got two more hours left.”

“Go sit.”

“Thanks.” I take the register and rotate for several breaks before I’m sent off to work in the baby clothes department which makes me think about having a baby one day. Of course that would take meeting the man of my dreams and getting married and most of all being able to afford having children.