Spec (Hell's Handlers MC Florida Chapter 2)

“They’d interrogate us. When we refused to answer, Deke would be…” he swallowed “… he’d be tortured. They made me watch as they hurt him over and over. Each time they said it would stop if I just told them what they wanted to know. Each day it got worse. He was so… God, Liv, he was so fucking strong. He never broke despite the horrifying shit they did to him.”

Tears rolled down her cheeks, landing somewhere between them.

“Scott, I’m so sorry you were forced to suffer like that. So sorry.” She cupped his face again, swiping tears he hadn’t realized he’d shed. “I’m not sure how you survived torture like that, but I’m so grateful you did. You’re the most amazing man I’ve ever met. The strongest. The bravest.”

What? No. Her words tried to worm their way through the thick layers of damage to his heart. But he couldn’t let them. He wasn’t the one who needed her sympathy. He wasn’t the one who’d endured the unimaginable torture. Deke had. He was the one who deserved her attention. Why wasn’t she railing at him and crying over the injustice her brother suffered? Why didn’t she blame him for not protecting Deke?

“Liv, you don’t get it. What happened to me was nothing like what they did to him. Nothing! Every moment for him was complete agony. They never let up. Never gave him a break. All I did was fucking watch! He died in front of me because I couldn’t find a way out. Couldn’t think of a way to save him. I kept quiet, and he paid the price!”

He tried to keep from shouting, but it was the only way he knew to get through to her.

“Fuck!”

Olivia remained calm. She didn’t yell back, lose her shit, or berate him. Sure, tears still flowed from her eyes but no hysterics.

She smiled at him, so sad it’d have broken his heart if he had anything left to break.

“I don’t think anyone has said this to you, so let me be the first.” She swiped her tears away, straightened her shoulders, and said, “I still believe you’re the most amazing man I have ever met. I’m in complete awe of your strength and resilience.”

He shook his head. The panic he fucking hated tried to claw its way out. How the fuck could he make her understand? “No, I—”

Her soft hand landed over his mouth. “Shhh,” she soothed. “You need to hear this. Really hear this. “If you thought this conversation would change how I feel about you, you’re right.”

Here it comes.

“It’s made me realize I had no idea just how remarkable you are.”

What?

When he tried to speak, she shook her head and smashed her palm against his lips.

“I’m not sure I can put into words what I’m feeling for you right now… pride, admiration, respect, devotion, compassion. All these words seem so inadequate.”

He couldn’t have looked away from her if the world was on fire. Every syllable out of her mouth was spoken with a fierce sincerity.

“You were tortured as much or even more than my brother. Scott, you were held in a box that must have gotten as hot as an oven. You were dehydrated, starved, folded up like a toy, and forced to watch someone you love suffer unspeakable pain. I’m sure you’ve left out plenty of things they did to you. I know you have scars, and they didn’t come from nothing.

“I love Deke and will forever be haunted by his death. I’ll always regret the years I spent without him in my life. And I will always wish I did more to be family to him. But he’s at rest now. His wounds are gone, and his scars no longer exist. He’s found peace. You’re still suffering every day.”

A rogue tear escaped, sliding down his cheek. It landed on Olivia’s finger. She removed her hand from his mouth. As she leaned in close, the citrusy scent of her expensive lotion swirled around, perfect for the warm Florida evening. It helped. Nothing about the desert had smelled even remotely appealing. Scott clung to these tiny sensory details that kept him in the here and now.

With Olivia.

She kissed the corner of his mouth. That was all it took to have his cock filling with blood. If she noticed it harden against her leg, she kept it to herself. But she did press her lips against his ear. He clenched his fists to avoid grabbing her and rolling her beneath him.

“You don’t have to suffer anymore. We’ll find a way for you to have peace, Scott. I promise. And we’ll do it together. You aren’t alone.”

Did he dare reach out and take the lifeline she offered him?

Would Deke approve?

Fuck, this woman was everything his soul needed but didn’t deserve. He turned so their lips rested a breath apart. Her pupils dilated, and her breath caught. “Let me make you feel good,” she whispered as she settled her palms on his chest. His heart hammered as though trying to leap from his chest straight into her waiting hands.