I turn to my brother and ignore the smug look on his face. “I was going into town to pick up... rope.”
He puts his hand on his hip. “Rope?”
I roll my eyes. “Yeah, rope. We own a ranch. We’re cowboys. You can’t have enough rope.”
He nods. “Okay, so be sure to tell Amanda I said hi.”
I start to deny it, but what’s the use? “I will.”
I get into my truck and drive into town. I park at the feedlot and walk down the main street to get to the bookstore. Amanda is smiling as I walk in the front door. “I wondered if I was going to see you today.”
I go straight toward her and pull her into my arms. I’m over-apologizing for my dirty and dusty clothes. She never seems to mind anyway. “You’re going to see me every day. Have you not noticed I hate being away from you?”
She nods. “I feel the same way about you.”
I pull her into my chest and hold her there. I’m ready for the next step in our relationship, but I don’t think she is. I’ve made a point to not be alone with her anywhere near a bed because of it. I sigh and don’t realize I did it out loud until she lifts her head from my chest. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
“I want more, Amanda.”
Her body freezes against mine, and she looks up at me with hurt brown eyes. She tries to pull from my arms, but I don’t let her. “No, I don’t mean whatever you’re thinking. I mean, I want to be with you. I want to go to bed with you and wake up next to you. I want it all... the house, the family, the kids. I want it all.”
She nods. “I want that, too Chance. I want it all.”
“I’m going to have to talk to your father... this week. No more putting it off. We’ve been seeing each other almost a month, and I want to be able to take you on dates, hold your hand and walk down Main Street without worrying about your dad and brothers.”
She grips on to my shirt. “And what if they forbid it... what then?”
I pull her against me and rest my chin on the top of her head. “I won’t ask you to choose between your family and me, Amanda, but I’ll be honest with you... I won’t be able to just let you go either.”
She sounds almost tearful. “I don’t want you to let me go.”
I pull back and search her face. She blinks, and a tear starts to roll down her cheek. I catch it with my finger and wipe her eyes. “None of that, honey. I can’t stand to see you cry.”
She sniffs. “I’m not usually a crier, but these last few weeks have been everything, Chance. I don’t want anything to come between us.”
I put a hand on each side of her face and look her straight in the eye. “Nothing is going to come between us, Amanda. Nothing.”
She shakes her head. “You don’t know that.”
I run my hands up and down her back. “I do, though.” I squeeze her hard. “Stop thinking about it. It’s all going to work out. You’ll see.”
She sniffs, pulling away from me and nodding her head. “You’re right. It will all work out. How much time do you have before you have to get back?”
I roll my shoulders and stretch my neck. “We’re moving cows to the south pasture this week, so I have to be back soon.”
She nods. “I was about to lock the front door and close for lunch. You want to come upstairs and eat with me?”
My nostrils flare because I want to be alone with her. When I hesitate, she shakes her head. “I mean you don’t have to.”
I hate that she thinks I don’t want to, and even though she’s too tempting, I can’t refuse her. “Lunch sounds good.”
She grabs my hand and pulls me toward the front door. She locks it, and then we walk together to the back and up the stairs to her apartment. It’s small but cozy, and even up here, there are books everywhere. I look at her bookshelves, noticing the science fiction, history, and romance books. Some of the history books I’ve read.
“What would you like? I can make a ham sandwich really quick.”
I look at her standing in the kitchen and shake my head. I was stupid to think I could come up here and not touch her. I sit down on the couch and gesture for her to come to me. “Come here, honey.”
She does as I ask without even hesitating. When she’s right in front of me, I grab on to her hand and pull her down into my lap. She struggles once there. “I’m too big, Chance.”