Crap, I haven’t even thought of any of these details, which only reminds me of how in over my head I am.
Dex counters. “It’s probably best that you move under cover of night, but I know you didn’t get enough rest last night. You should be good to hunker down tonight but be planning your next move for tomorrow night. Like with Katja, I don’t even want to know where you’re going.”
“I have a few possibilities. I’ll figure it out by morning.” Z answers before asking, “So how did you leave things with Vinny at the end of the meeting?”
“He looked me in the eyes and said, ‘You’re either with me or you’re against me. Choose wisely,’ and then he left.”
“Well fuck. Does he really expect you to just turn us over to him?”
“If he does, he’s going to be sorely disappointed. So let me keep working on things at this end. I’ve called in some of our closest friends. I want The Whitney filled with allies. It will make it harder for Vinny to turn this into a real war.”
“Sounds good,” Z answers, a new weariness in his voice.
But I want to scream that none of this sounds good. It’s all terrible.
The men hang up without even saying goodbye. Z and I sit in stunned silence, each thinking through all we’ve learned in the last few minutes. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised by any of it.
Z pushes to his feet and heads to the sink, talking over his shoulder. “I’ll finish cleaning up here. I know it’s early, but you need to go up to bed and get some rest.”
I follow him, yanking the towel out of his hand, trying to get him to look at me. “Are you kidding me? We need to talk about this!” I realize I’m shouting and take a calming breath before adding, “We need to talk about that kiss, too.”
“There was no kiss. This is a job and I need to keep my head in the game or we’re gonna both end up dead.” He finally turns and looks at me, his eyes dark—dangerous.
I’m tempted to take a step back out of self-preservation, but I stand firm. “So that’s how it is?”
“The kiss was a mistake. A mistake I won’t make again. Now go.”
Tears blur my vision, but I refuse to give in to them. I’m stronger than that.
“Fine, I’ll go upstairs, but this isn’t over. We will talk about this again tomorrow,” I inform him, hoping I’ll still be alive then.
I turn to leave the room but stop in my tracks as he calls out to me. “Rowan.”
I’m hopeful. Maybe he’s changed his mind. He wants me to stay close.
“Don’t turn on any lights. We can’t make it look like anyone is in the house. The sun is almost set. Find a candle if you need to use it to see in the dark.”
That’s it? That’s all he has to say to me?
“Fine.”
But absolutely nothing in my life is fine.
Chapter Ten
ROWAN
Seconds feel like minutes. Minutes like hours. I’m ready to jump out of my skin, sitting in the dark second-story guest room that overlooks the ocean. I have nothing to do but think. Worry. Obsess.
I glance down at the charging burner phone in my lap, grateful the cheap thing at least has a clock on it, even if it seems to be mocking me for checking the time again.
One hour and thirty-seven minutes. That’s how long I’ve been up here alone, and it feels like days. Instead of getting sleepy, I’m getting more and more wired with each passing minute. Thinking about my friends and family. Worrying about where Katja may be going and if I’ll ever see her again.
Thinking about Z downstairs—so close and yet so far. As tired as he may be, I suspect he’s awake just like me. Is he pacing around—checking the doors and windows? Is he looking out the windows facing the ocean, just like I am?
Is he thinking about how amazing that kiss was in the kitchen before Dex had called? I can’t forget it. That connection I felt to him is about the only thing I have to think about that doesn’t make me panic. It had just felt—right.
Pushing to my feet, I’m determined to get my act together. I’m better than this. I’m not some teenager with a crush on the star quarterback. Grateful for the almost full moon, it’s easy to move around the bedroom without the lights on, but when I head into the bathroom to brush my teeth and pee, it’s a different story. The dim light from the phone is just enough to get the job done.
I lie on top of the comforter, not wanting to make it obvious that the bed will be slept in. But it’s chilly, and the moonlight casts shadows that sway with the trees moving in the wind outside the window. My brain knows it’s not the boogie man, but the dangerous game of cat and mouse we are playing with the Luciano family has me imagining the worst until my heart is thumping away in my chest so hard that I push back up to my feet, pacing around the room like a caged animal.