Chapter 1
Thomas
Kayden and Chains’ Wedding Reception
I look across the yard, past the parquet dance floor that Mom and Dad had fixed for the wedding. Everyone is laughing and having a good time. My sister and her new husband are dancing, and I’ve never seen her happier. I’m glad for her. Kayden deserves every happiness. She truly does.
Immediately, my gaze moves to Gabby. She’s standing out from the dance floor talking to Jazz, and her head is thrown back, her blonde hair falling down her back in waves. She’s laughing, and her complete joy squeezes my heart in my chest.
I have been in love with Gabby since I was a kid. That’s just fact. It has never gone anywhere. I don’t see it ever going anywhere. The thing is…Gabby cares for me, but I’m not blind. She has feelings for my brother. That’s a shot to the gut for sure and probably the reason my brother and I never talk about Gabby to one another. Gabby doesn’t really talk about Dom either. I did ask her about their relationship. It was hard for me. Probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
I almost backed out, but I had to know for sure. I needed to know if I had to prepare myself to see my brother and Gabby together and give up my dreams or if I should press harder to win her heart. She promised that she’s never been anything more than friends with Dom—despite him wanting more. She said he likes her, but she can’t go there knowing that we both care for her. She doesn’t want to be responsible for hurting either one of us. So, in a way, I heard what I needed, but it also kept me from pushing her harder and showing her how deeply I felt. She made me and Dom both off limits, and I needed to accept that.
I haven’t been able to—at least not in my heart.
With Gabby, I’m careful not to show how much I love her. Well, I try to be. Gabby does her best to not talk about Dom when we’re together. Still, I see the way she looks at him when nobody is watching. She loves my brother, but she needs to see that he isn’t the type to settle down with a woman. Once she accepts that, I’ll have a clear shot. That’s what keeps me waiting.
It feels like I’ve been waiting forever.
I know I shouldn’t, but I find myself walking over to where Gabby is. Almost as if she can feel my attention on her, she turns. Surprise shows on her face and maybe a trace of disappointment. Does she wish it was Dom walking to her right now? Probably. I should let that stop me, but I don’t.
“Tom,” she murmurs.
I really hate the name Tom. There are only two people whoever get away with it. My sister Kayden because she can be a bitch and likes to annoy me and Gabby. Over the years, I’ve actually gotten used to it. I even like it when Kayden does it. Gabby? I can accept it. If it was coming out of her lips while she was about to come all over my cock, I have a feeling I’d like it more.
I shake those thoughts from my head. The last thing I need is to be sporting a hard-on when I’m dancing with Gabby.
“Hey,” I respond, my chest tight, my throat dry.
It takes extra concentration, but I do my best not to tense up. Doing that always makes it harder to talk. You see, I stutter. While that might not sound like something that can kill you, trust me when I say, it does a fucking number on you in a million different ways that the average person wouldn’t even think about.
I’ve gone through some fucking dark days. My entire family saw it. It pissed my dad off to the point he could barely talk about it. I took that personally. It felt like he was blaming me for my condition. He never said it, and Mom assured me nothing could be further from the truth—but I felt like he saw me as weak. I know my brother Dom did. He would beat up any asshole that said something to me—as if I couldn’t take up for myself. He’s made it his mission to protect me over the years. I think my biggest shame is that I let him.
I’m not proud of that. I hate it. I can defend myself. I know Dad and Dom believe I can’t—but they’re wrong. The thing is, instead of showing them that, it was just easier to let them have control. They’re both this huge force, and I’m tired of fighting to be seen.
Besides, when they feel like they’re shielding me from hurt, they view it as their jobs. That means, I get a break from seeing the pity in their eyes. When that happens, even though it’s for a brief moment, I get to pretend that they don’t see me as less.