Why he’d started an outdoor guide company, I had no idea. I didn’t mention any of that because on top of not sleeping with him again, I didn’t think he needed any more of an ego hit.
I wanted to buy his company not ride his dick.
“Oh.” He shoved his fingers through his chin-length hair. I couldn’t help but mentally compare him to Ford. Heck, even Kennedy. Those guys were men. Sturdy, solid, I won’t-get-lost-in-the-woods men. “Well, I don’t know when exactly I’m leaving, but yeah, I would consider it. Do you have a figure in mind?”
I did. I’d done some online research into selling businesses. I knew the approximate value of all the camping and hiking equipment, and I also had a pretty good estimate of the annual income of the place. Some businesses sold for three times their annual income, but I didn’t think SOA was worth that much. I planned to offer somewhere between the capital equipment value and the annual income, but I wanted to see how much I could get in a loan.
“I do, but let me put it down on paper for you, okay? I want to be sure I’ve considered everything first.”
“Yeah, okay.” He nodded from behind the counter. “That sounds good.”
For some reason, Brandon looked more bitter than excited.
Had he been bluffing about leaving town? Had that been a threat meant to punish me for not wanting a relationship?
Ugh. Men! Why did it feel like I never could get it right with the opposite sex? The one I wanted didn’t want me, and the one who wanted me I sure-as-hell didn’t.
Nope. I wouldn’t think of Ford. Not about his big, broad shoulders. Or the hungry way he looked at my body when I was soaked to the skin with rainwater. I’d felt more when he’d looked me over than when I’d been having sex with Brandon.
I wasn’t sure if that said something about me, Ford, or Brandon.
“All right, see you tomorrow,” I called, suddenly in even more of a hurry to get the hell out of there, to get away from those crazy thoughts.
I shook my head to clear it as I pulled out of the lot and headed toward my house. It wasn’t far, thankfully. Nothing was in Sparks.
The days away should have erased Ford from my mind. I’d had to focus on the group of hikers I guided instead of Ford. Making sure they were happy. Had no blisters. Weren’t hungry. Saw the elk grazing in the distance. Ensured all the food was in the hang bag away from bears.
I’d done all that but was still left with plenty of free time for my mind to wander. To think about how much he’d changed. How angry he was. Just as focused as ever, but it seemed honed somehow, like a blade sharpened on a rock. I knew he was affected by Buck’s death. The two of them had always been close. Closer than Buck and I, and he was my brother.
But Ford was also an asshole. I’d practically given myself to him, and he’d turned me away. Kicked me out of his bedroom—not before Buck had shown up.
I huffed out a breath as I slowed my old 4Runner around a turn. The usual thwump from the rotors was a reminder I needed to schedule a time for it to be worked on at Lee Lander’s shop.
I had to get Ford out of my head because he was in there, running as if he were on a damned hamster wheel. He was trouble. Always had been. Not only did he remind me of Buck and the constant, numbing loss, but Ford made me feel inadequate. Less than. As if I’d never be enough for him. He’d never see me as anything more than his best friend’s little sister.
At eighteen, I’d been daring and bold climbing into his bed. I still was when it came to anything but Ford Ledger. An hour with him during the storm the other day had validated every bit of insecurity I had and reinforced that Ford still had no interest.
I knew I shouldn’t set my worth based on a man’s opinion of me, but Ford…
“Let him go, Indi,” I muttered to myself.
All I wanted to do now was strip out of my dirty clothes and take a long, hot shower. Eat the casserole that I didn’t cook over a fire and sleep in an actual bed. I loved camping and loved being off the grid, but I enjoyed the comforts of civilization too.
The group I’d led had been really great. Eager for their vacation and easy going. They didn’t complain about how soggy the ground was or that an animal had, sometime in the middle of the night, gotten into one of their packs and eaten all the snack bars they’d brought. Thankfully, not a bear.