“They told us stories. Of honor. Battle. Fighting for what was right,” I explained, remembering those talks fondly. Buck and I had looked up to those men. “I wanted to make Gramps proud.” I laughed, taking the time to think about it. “He gave me someone to look up to when my parents didn’t.”
“I think you made him proud whatever you ended up doing,” she said. “Still. Why’d you leave?”
Because I’d gotten forced out. Because someone was corrupt and wanted me gone, so I didn’t dig into bad shit. Because I was good enough to find out the truth which was supposed to stay hidden. The truth that had gotten Buck killed.
I couldn’t say any of that to Indi. I wanted to tell her. Everything. Big sections of my time in the service were classified. I’d never be able to tell anyone.
But that had been regular SEAL mission shit. Normal secrets wives and family understood. If I told her the truth, she’d start to dig into Buck’s service record. Get that bulletin board back in action again. Start digging.
This woman, with the sun glinting off her hair, the questioning, trusting look in her eye, was the one thing I had to take care of and protect. All the years of being a SEAL, all that training, was for her.
I couldn’t blow it by telling her the truth. It was clear she didn’t know it, or she wouldn’t have asked. I’d keep her in the dark. Safe.
There was no other option.
“I… I couldn’t keep going without Buck,” I admitted. It was the truth. One hundred percent. Except I’d also lied by omission. Because she thought I meant emotionally. I meant literally. The Navy wouldn’t allow me to stay in with Buck dead. Period.
The words were bitter on my tongue. I was fucked no matter what I did. But I’d do anything, anything, to protect her.
“I miss him,” she admitted. Her eyes welled with tears.
“Yeah, Blue. I do too.” Fuck, did I. Knowing he was dead and some bastard had not only killed him but ruined his name and honor?
“He’d hate us for moping over him,” I said.
She laughed and sniffled. “He’d hate that we’re together.”
I wrapped my arms around her, set my palms beneath her water backpack then lower still to cup her spandex-covered ass. “He’d hate it at first, but it’s not about him any longer.”
She didn’t say anything else, only nodded, then turned and started up the trail again.
“You wear leggings like that when you’re on a guide trip?” I asked after a few minutes.
“I usually have on regular pants. With pockets. I have to carry stuff for more than just me.”
“Like what?”
“I might not be an Eagle Scout or a SEAL, but I can hold my own in the wilderness.”
I didn’t doubt her, that she believed that, but she was a little slip of a woman, and the wilderness was unforgiving.
“Tell me.”
I needed to be distracted.
“Well… a mega-first aid kit. GPS. Health bars for emergency fuel. Multipurpose tool. That kind of stuff. What do you take on your jobs as a security consultant?”
“Same things, plus a few more.”
“A few more things, like SEAL stuff?”
I nodded. Like K-Bar knives, semi-automatic pistols, and rifles. Sometimes explosives and other things that go boom.
“When we leave tomorrow, we’ll be safe, Blue. We’re trained for everything.” I’d told her about our latest job, that Taft would be around. It was a shit time to leave her, but I had no choice. This trip was time-critical.
“So am I,” she countered.
“I have a team though. You always lead a group solo?”
She shrugged. “Not always. Sometimes one of the other guides joins me. Sometimes Brandon.”
I frowned at that guy’s name. “What’s your deal with him?”
She didn’t slow her steps as she made her way up the rugged trail, but she was quiet for longer than expected.
“He’s been my boss for a few years.”
“And?”
“And a mistake.”
Some small animal scurried under nearby brush as we passed.
A mistake.
That meant… no. It wasn’t fair to want to turn back down the mountain, go into the guide office and rip the guy’s head off. If mistake meant a past lover, then he’d treated her wrong since she’d admitted she’d never come with a man before.
Meaning Brandon hadn’t seen to her needs.
“A SEALs specialty is wet work.”
She tripped over a rock and stumbled, easily righting herself. She turned to stare at me, wide-eyed. “Wet work?”
I crossed my arms over my chest and waited. “My team can make him disappear. Quickly or painfully.”
“Oh my God, seriously?” When I didn’t reply and just stared, she continued, “Possessive, much?”
“You have no idea, Blue.” Now that I knew what her pussy felt like milking my dick as she came, I sure as shit was possessive. No one else would hear her cries of pleasure. See her gorgeous body flush with arousal. Know her taste. Her scent.