Tempting. So tempting. To be able to leave the land of the dead and go back home, where my father is, where there is no impending war, no prophecy, no forced marriage to a God.
And yet…and yet…
I shake my head. “I’m not ready to go yet,” I tell her. “I know it seems silly, but I need answers and I don’t think I’ll find them back home.”
“Even with your father there?” she asks.
I think that over. I know if I had the chance to talk to my father again he would tell me everything. But what use are the answers if I can’t get back to Tuonela? Because make no mistake about it, if I leave there is absolutely no way I can come back. Death would not let me. He would not have me. He would probably kill me, and if he couldn’t bring himself to do that, then I really would rot in that oubliette.
The answers I now seek only help me if I’m still the queen. There’s no way in hell I could function as a normal human back in reality with all the knowledge I would have.
“I can’t,” I tell her. “I want to see my father, but I have a duty now, whether I like it or not. I am bound in law to Death, and maybe the law doesn’t stretch into the Upper World but it’s important to me.” I just had no idea how important until I said it out loud.
“Wow.”
I frown. “Wow what?”
She gives me a small smile. “You’ve really fallen in love with him.”
“I’m not in love with him,” I protest quickly. I’m not, I know I’m not. “But I care about him. And I care about Tuonela. What happens here affects all the worlds, not just this one. I can’t abandon it now.”
“You’ve probably made the right choice, fairy girl,” she says to me. “You’re already sounding like a queen. Guess I need to start bowing in front of you, huh?”
She does a little bow just as Death’s voice booms across the grotto. “Hanna! What are you doing?”
Bell’s eyes widen and, in a flash of iridescent scales, she disappears into the kelp.
Bye, Little Mermaid, I say inside my head, quickly stuffing the pouch into my bodice. I straighten up and give Death a smile as he comes toward me.
“I was just looking at the kelp,” I say to him. I notice Tellervo gives me an inquisitive look and I tense, but she doesn’t say anything.
“You don’t have kelp in California?” he asks. He grabs me by the elbow, but his touch is gentle. “We need to head back up to the surface. I don’t know how much longer that tea will help you breathe underwater.”
He doesn’t know? Okay, now I’m feeling a little panicked.
We say goodbye to the Gods and Goddesses and I give my black sand dollar back to Ahto before Death starts swimming up toward
Chapter 22
Death
“The Calm”
The sea is as calm as glass. I don’t linger on deck for too long, in case I am spotted by someone, perhaps a pelican under Louhi’s command. But it’s enough to take in the brisk air, the glint of sun on the horizon as it rises. I know the weather will turn, but at the moment I welcome the sun. I feel one with it, like it’s been away from my realm for too long and I need to welcome its return, and maybe then everything will be whole again.
But then the clouds lower and the dawn is sucked away into the steel-gray sea. I let out a low breath and look over at the Deadhands. They are all rowing steadily, the ship slicing through the water like a sharp blade. We have a few hours until we reach Shadow’s End.
I go back below deck and over to the captain’s quarters. I once had large, tall-ships that used to anchor in the water off Evernight Point, but over time the sea consumed them. I still have some grand ships up further north, one located in a tiny cove off of the Hiisi Forest where it resembles a tropical island. Mortals would call that paradise, with the lush flowers and jungle and warm, clear waters, but my paradise is dark and cold and sharp.
Yet, part of me wants to take Hanna there. Even if the ship has deteriorated, we could make a home on the white sand beaches. She would love the place, it would make her feel at home, and I would be happy because she’s happy.
I would be happy because she’s happy.
The feeling catches me by surprise.
That is not how a king thinks. Not how a God works.
I give my head a shake and push it away. I think back to the tall ships.
In those tall ships, everything was stately and grand, gleaming with obsidian and leather. On this ship, the captain’s quarters at the aft are barely big enough for me to fit in. But the bed is comfortable and, when I go inside the small cabin, I see Hanna is fast asleep.