“And?”
“And it’s not as easy as I wish it was.”
“You still miss her.”
I shrugged again. “Mostly, I still feel guilty I didn’t see that she was suffering.”
“But you know the reality, honey. She may not have been suffering until right before she did it. Those urges can strike without much warning.”
“I know. I just worry that I’m not . . . intuitive enough. That Charlotte will need me to see something that’s going on with her and I’ll miss it. Again.”
“Have you told her about Kelly?”
I shook my head.
“You will, when the time’s right.”
I put an arm around her shoulders. “It’s good to see you, Mom.”
“You too. We’re all here for you, you know.”
“I know.”
“And I’m thrilled you’ve found someone special again.”
“I was worried about whether I’d be good for her at first, but I am, you know? In all the ways that matter.”
Mom gave me a knowing smile. “Of course you are. I can see how much she means to you.”
“She does. Not just because of the baby. I’ve been thinking—” I looked around and lowered my voice “—about how if Kelly were still here, I’d probably be married to her. I never would’ve even met Charlotte. Makes me feel like a real dick even having those thoughts.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. You tried to reach Kelly, but she was hurting deeply. The accident affected so many lives. She’d have wanted you to move on.”
I nodded. “I have. I’m at peace with things, but this day . . . it brings it back, you know?”
“It does for me, too. And I think that’s okay. When you share it with Charlotte, I bet her understanding will help. She sounds like a woman who will understand.”
Just the thought of Charlotte made me smile. She was more than special to me. I was starting to think fate had brought us together that night. It was like I found the woman I was looking for without even realizing I was looking.
I hadn’t planned on settling down this young. There was also my job and the constant travel it required. My lack of financial security. The fact she was Liam’s sister.
I no longer gave a single shit about any of that. I just wanted her.
Charlotte
It was a low-key Christmas Day at the apartment. My mom had run to the store for some last-minute dinner ingredients, and Liam hadn’t arrived yet. I was unloading the dishwasher when James came into the room and started helping me.
“Hey, Merry Christmas,” he said. “Guess I was tired.”
“Merry Christmas.”
It was close to noon and he’d just woken up. Not that I was judging since I’d slept ’til almost ten myself. James sorted clean silverware into the drawers, and I again wondered what had come over him. He’d never helped with this kind of stuff before.
“So how’s it going?” I asked.
He smiled and looked down at the silverware. “It’s good.”
“You seem . . . different lately.”