“What?”
“I’ve been off my birth control a few days,” I remind him.
“Lily is going to take care of you, okay? This is what she does.”
I nod, but deep down I know I am so far from okay. How can he look at me and not be disgusted? If I could scrub my skin off I would.
“Give her an hour. I gotta take care of a few things. I’ll be back soon as I can.”
“You’re leaving me here? Alone?” The fear of abandonment bubbles in my throat. “No. No way. Just give me my car keys.” I want to stomp my foot but that will only make me seem more childish and like I can’t take care of myself. I nearly drop to my knees to beg him to stay or to take me far away. But no matter how far I run nothing will change what happened.
He’s right I have to face it and accept it. I can’t hide or run.
“Slick’s here. If it gets to be too much for you, he can take you home. He’s a good man. I trust him and so does Lily.”
“Whatever.”
“I get you’re upset with me, but I’m doing this for you.” He kisses my temple. “Need you to be strong.”
“Ugh. That’s not fair. You’re being sweet and making sense.”
“I’m an asshole in that way.”
“You’re far from an asshole.” Maybe it’d be easier if he were. If he pushed me away.
He leads me up on the porch of a two-story home that belongs to Alexa. The chick who married my uncle. I stand back uncomfortable and ready to bolt. Running is all I’ve known but this time is different. There’s more than myself to consider. I’m married now. I don’t know what good he thinks this will do, but I’ll humor him this one time.
My husband knocks and the door swings open. Lily greets us. “Please come in. I wasn’t sure what you’d want to eat so I made chicken and dumplings.”
I shoot lasers at the back of Holy’s head. He told her. It’s always been a favorite of mine. We enter the house and the first thing I notice is the vibrant mustard colored couch.
“Are you hungry?”
“We’re starved,” he answers for me, dragging me along to the dining room and forcing me into a chair. “Sit. I’ll fix your plate.” I can see the kitchen from where I sit. I glance around the room. It’s homey and comfy with warm colors and little touches of knick knacks that say this house has been well lived in. It’s what a home should feel like.
“What would you like to drink? There’s water, milk, sweet tea, soda.” Lily grabs a glass out of a nearby cabinet.
“Tea works.” I shake my leg under the table. I hate this. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to eat her food.
“Holy?”
“Same.”
With niceties out of the way and plates filled, the three of us sit at the table eating in an awkward silence waiting for someone to make the first move.
Her gaze lingers on my wedding band. “Are you...” Confusion crosses her face, and she stares at Holy. “The two of you?” The fork in her hand darts between the two of us.
“Yeah, but that’s not why we’re here. Slick was supposed to fill you in.”
Her fork hits her plate with a clang, and she exhales before taking a drink of milk. “I was hoping he read that conversation wrong.” She nods. “Excuse me for just a second.”
I glare at my husband, and he shrugs.
Lily returns quickly. “Do you have any allergies? On any medication? Drug use I should know about?”
“No.”
“Good. Take these.” She tucks three pills into my palm. “Antibiotics. Plan B. You’ll need to go to a clinic and get tested for STDs. I don’t have the capabilities here. Do you need something for the pain? Did they...were they rough? Are you bleeding?”