“It’s not your fault, J.”
“Yeah,” Bailey adds. “Guys like him treat other guys differently than they treat women.”
“Yeah, but still. Next time I’m saying condoms and respect, or I’ll break his dick.”
10
“Alright, Matthew. Show me what you have today,” I say with extra gusto at lunch on Thursday. Something has been wrong with Matthew. I can tell because he didn’t raise his hand even once in class today, and it was my lesson, so I was expecting extreme excitement from him. He’s been withdrawn this week, so I’ve been doing what I can to perk him up at lunch.
“Um, I forgot my lunch today. But I grabbed a granola bar from the cabinet before I left.” Matthew won’t make eye contact with me. He remembered to grab a granola bar but not his lunch bag? I’m not buying it, but I’m glad that I made it a point to pack some things that will boost his spirits.
“That’s okay,” I say with a nod and a conspiratorial grin. “It’s actually probably better this way because look what I brought.”
I pull out a foot-long gourmet sub from Jerry’s, the sub shop off campus, two bags of chips, a container of grapes, two bottles of juice from the vending machine, and of course, the container of Bailey’s cookies that Ivy packed. Matthew’s eyes grow wide, and he starts to smile, but then the grin drops.
“I don’t really have anything to trade, though.”
“Pffft, that’s fine,” I say with a shrug as I start to divvy up the food. “Consider it a thank you for always coming to keep me company at lunch. And if you want to repay me, you can just make sure to ask a few questions next time I teach. I know you had some in your brain today.”
“I did,” Matthew says before taking a giant bite of his sub. “I just didn’t feel like talking.”
“It’s cool. Sometimes I don’t feel like talking in large groups either. But you know you can always talk to me if something is bothering you, right?”
Matthew pauses and looks at me while he chews, and suddenly I’m hit with the memory of Jacob the first day I met him, with his assessing blinks, vulnerability, and silent strength. Just like that first day with Jacob,
I hope Matthew knows that my words are genuine.
“I mean it, Matthew. You can talk to me about anything. And if there’s a problem that I can’t help you with, we will find someone who can.”
Matthew nods and gives me a small smile.
“I know, Mr. Pierce. Thank you. For the lunches and for everything.”
“Good. Now how about you ask me those questions you didn’t want to ask in class today. The Progressive Era was a pretty big moment in American History.”
Matthew and I finish the lunch hour discussing my lesson, and soon enough he’s smiling and laughing like his usual self. I only hope he’s still smiling next time I see him.
The day goes by quickly, and I manage not to think too much about the comments that douche Brock made at the soccer scrimmage for most of it, but I wasn’t so lucky on the drive back to campus.
“So how was soccer last night?” Cassie asks, and I can’t help the grimace that takes over my face. “Oh no. Did you lose? I was gonna come cheer you on, but I needed to work on my Ed Psych project.”
“Nah, we didn’t lose. We kicked ass.”
“So then what’s up?” She turns in her seat and I can feel her eyes on my profile. I don’t like it.
“Nothing big,” I shrug. “Just some dick on the other team trying to get under my skin. Didn’t work.”
“Who was it?”
“Some frat prick named Brock.”
“Brock Mohler,” Cassie says, and she’s not surprised. I turn my head and look at her.
“You know him?”
“Yep. He’s in a business frat with my roommate’s boyfriend.” She hesitates, and I can tell she wants to say more.
“What?” I urge, and she takes a breath.