Love You Better (Better Love 1)

When they call us up to be crowned, I search the crowded dance floor for a dark blue dress, bright blonde hair, and piercing eyes, but she’s not there.

She’s gone.

12

I wait up for Bailey to get off work. It’s 2:30 in the morning when she finally gets home, and by then I’ve had three freak outs and probably a quarter of our box of wine.

After showing Jesse the Chinese food I brought him, I shouted goodbye and hightailed it out of their condo. I was going to send an SOS text to Bailey but remembered she was closing the bar tonight, so instead I went home and paced the apartment and drank. When she walks in, I could cry with relief.

“Thank the Goddesses you’re here,” I say and crush her in a hug.

“Whoa, hello. I’m happy to see you too!” Bailey laughs as we break apart. “Wait...are you drunk? You never get drunk.”

I shake my head. “I’m not. Not really. Maybe just moderately buzzed.” She raises her eyebrow at me, a mix of concern and amusement in her smile.

“What’s up?”

“I almost kissed Kelley,” I blurt.

“What!” She shouts on a laugh.

“It’s not funny! This has the potential to be bad.”

“What do you mean you almost kissed him?”

I start pacing again, trying to recount the moment for her, but everything about those memories makes me feel flushed and woozy, and I can’t get my head to de-fuzz.

“Well, he also almost kissed me. We almost kissed each other? He was going to kiss me, and I think I was going to let him. Actually, no, I was definitely going to let him. I was going to let him but then Jesse came home and I just kind of freaked out and ran away.”

I halt pacing and whip my eyes to Bailey.

“Ohmigosh, Bailey, I just ran away. I was such a spaz. What am I going to do? I can’t want to kiss Kelley. Last time we almost kissed, it ruined everything.”

I start pacing again.

“Well, to be fair, Kelley was a total prick last time because he was young and immature, and his pride was hurt because you’d just unknowingly broken his poor little prick heart. Do you think that would happen again?”

“No.” I shake my head. “Probably not? But that’s not the point.”

“Ivy.” Bailey grabs my arm and maneuvers me to the couch. “You gotta stop walking around me in circles, babe, it’s making me nauseous.”

“Sorry,” I say absently, and sit on the couch.

“Okay, so what’s the point?” Bailey asks, and I jump back up again.

“The point is that I think I wanted him to kiss me, B. And that can’t happen. It cannot happen. I cannot kiss him.”

“Why not?”

I stop pacing and throw a bewildered glare at where she’s perched on the couch.

“What do you mean why not? Because!” I throw my hands in the air and slap them back down at my sides. “Because!” I say again and punctuate it with a stomp.

“Wow. That’s a real compelling argument, there, counsel. Much logic. Such convince.”

I groan, and throw myself onto the couch next to her. “See? I can’t even think straight. My brain is much broked.”

“Deep breaths, V.” Bailey reaches over and rubs my shoulder. I count my inhales and exhales until the fuzz clears a little, and then I sit up.