“Stop talking,” I warned, forcing the words through clenched teeth.
“Are you two even serious about each other? Don’t you think a young girl like her would be scared off by the fact you have a daughter? Trust me, girls like her aren’t looking for that kind of a commitment.”
“Trust you?” I snorted. “Why should I trust the woman who cheated on me with my agent?”
Sandy leaned back in her chair and frowned. “I said I was sorry, Chucky. You know I’m sorry. I’m just trying to do what’s best for Clarissa. You know I only have Clarissa’s best interests at heart.”
“And how exactly do you plan on doing that? By trying to convince me to –what? Break up with Lara? Don’t be ridiculous.”
“Did I strike a nerve?”
I glared at my ex-wife, nothing but disgust building up in my heart. “You’ve always been a manipulative bitch,” I grumbled. “You can say shit about me all you want, Sandy, but don’t you ever try and use Clarissa or Lara against me. I love them both very much, and I would rather throw my whole career away for them if it meant we could all be happy.”
Sandy blinked, momentarily stunned. “You love her?”
I nodded, personally shocked that the words came out all on their own. “I really do. Lara is a lovely girl. She’s smart, she’s funny, she’s gorgeous, and she’s really good with Clarissa.”
“Now wait a minute, Chuck, I was just–”
“What were you hoping to accomplish? Were you trying to make me leave Lara so you could swoop in and use me? I’ve already given you fifteen years, Sandy. I’m not about to make the same mistake twice. Go find another agent with low standards and see if he gives you a roof over your head.” I raised my voice, too furious to control my volume. “The only gold digger I see around here is you.”
Everyone in the café looked over at us, some of them snickering behind their hands. Sandy’s face turned as red as her hair. She tried to hide behind a café menu, but the embarrassment had already settled in. I stood up immediately and grabbed my coat off the back of my chair, pulling it on in great haste.
“Now, if you don’t mind, I have to go find Lara and tell her I love her. Please refrain from contacting me about personal matters. If you’re not calling to check up on Clarissa, I don’t want you calling at all.”
“Chuck, wait, I didn’t mean to–”
I didn’t even give her time to finish her sentence. I left briskly through the café’s front doors and s
tarted down the street, speedily making my way to Ramen Books.
13
Lara
Love was a weird thing. It could find you in the strangest of places. Two strangers sitting side by side on the bus could be perfect for one another and never know it, not until something pushed them together and set their stories in motion. Love could find you on the dance floor of a busy nightclub, the combination of fruity drinks and disorienting flashing lights leading you straight into the arms of your unknowing other half. For me, love came in the form of a book. I hadn’t fallen in love with Chuck when I met him the first night of the workshop. I’d fallen in love with him long before that through the words he’d written and didn’t even know it. I grew up with those books, used his stories to escape and visit all kinds of forbidden realms and meet a wide range of colorful, memorable people. I first fell in love with his words, and then I fell in love with the man behind them.
I understood that people sometimes fell in and out of love. It was a fleeting thing, a fickle thing. It was never like the movies or on television where boy meets girl and they lived happily ever after. Love took work. It took dedication and time. People who did their very best to strive and be better for the other person would be rewarded with a love only knowable to them alone. As I stocked the shelves of the bookstore, I allowed my mind to wander. I was sure I felt that way about Chuck, that this wasn’t some fleeting moment between us.
I cared for Chuck, probably more than anyone ever before. I loved the way he looked at me, loved the way he touched me gingerly and kissed me sweet. I loved the sound of his voice and how patient he was with both his students and his daughter. Just to be close to him was enough to set my heart at ease. When we were apart from one another, I always felt anxious. When I was in class, or working in the bookstore waiting for the next workshop class, I itched to be near him. There had always been an empty space beside me, and with Chuck absent, the emptiness only seemed to grow. I really was falling in love with him, and I’d only realized when Sandy had forced her way back into the picture. Absentmindedly, I ran my fingers along the edges of the hardcover book I was supposed to be arranging alphabetically on the shelf. It was easier to focus on the sensation of raised ink beneath my fingertips than it was thinking about Chuck and Sandy together, having a good time.
The little bell above the door chimed, signaling that a guest had just entered the shop. I forced a polite smile and turned, even though my entire face felt heavy with stress and worry. The feelings immediately subsided when I realized it was Chuck who’d just walked in. I raised my eyebrows in genuine surprise. His hair was a bit of a mess and his cheeks were rosy, like he’d run all the way here.
“Lara,” he panted.
“What are you doing here?”
“I needed to speak with you. There’s something important I have to tell you.”
“Uh, excuse me, miss?” a woman standing at the cash register called to me. “Can you ring me through?”
“I’ll be right there.” I turned to Chuck. “I’m sorry, now’s not a good time. Can it wait?”
“It really can’t.”
“Hello?” the woman huffed. “Can I get some service, please?”
“One second, ma’am. I’m in the middle of work, Chuck.”