Nothing Feels Better (Better Love 3)

Note to self: don’t imply your patients aren’t in good hands. Maybe also don’t mention car accidents. And for the love of god, don’t repeat anything Bailey has said. Ever.

“I mean, I can’t perform surgery yet,” I stutter out, and Jude lets out a tiny squeak.

“I need surgery?” the kid whispers fearfully, and Jocelyn’s hand moves to his on the bed.

“No,” I say quickly, shaking my head and scrambling to fix it. “I will be a doctor. In a few years. They don’t trust me with a knife yet.”

Three pairs of already giant eyes widen to freakishly large proportions. What are those squirrel monkey things with the big eyes? Galagos? Bush babies? I got three of ‘em staring at me right now.

“A knife?” June whispers, and I start to panic.

“I mean a scalpel. For skin.”

“For skin?” The terror in Jude’s humongous eyes is loud as shit. How are his eyes getting bigger? And now they’re welling up with tears. Fuck, I’m gonna make the kid cry.

Fucking pediatrics.

I open my mouth to try and undo the damage, just as a knock sounds and Dr. Rana walks in. Saved by the Doc. Judging from Jocelyn’s deep breath, she’s just as relieved as I am.

Great job, Hernandez. Awesome.

Note to self: don’t fucking talk about knives. Idiot.

“You must be Jude’s mom,” Dr. Rana says. “Your husband told us you’d be coming.”

“Oh, um, ex-husband,” she says quickly, “but yes, I’m Jude and June’s mom. Jocelyn.” She shakes Dr. Rana’s hand with the same firmness, and my brain fixates on one word. Ex-husband.

“I’m Dr. Parisa Rana, and this is Jesse Hernandez. He’s going to med school in the fall, and he’s shadowing me today. Mr. Thompson said it was okay for Mr. Hernandez to stay in the room, but is it alright with you?”

Jocelyn’s eyes scan over my face, and I try like hell to look the opposite of how I feel—which is like a complete moron. My bedside manner is usually top notch, but I’m crashing and burning with this woman.

“It’s fine,” she breathes out, and I give her a small smile.

As Dr. Rana goes over Jude’s x-rays, I can’t keep my eyes, or my thoughts, from wandering back to Jocelyn. Under her bulky jacket, she’s wearing grey scrubs, something I didn’t notice at first. Is she in the medical field? Nurses wear scrubs. Physician’s assistants. Dental hygienists. Do veterinarians? Her nails are short and unpainted; there are no rings on her fingers. No wedding band. Ex-husband, she said. She’s taller than I remember. I wouldn’t have to bend much to kiss her. Just a little raise on her tiptoes, and she could probably slide her arms around my neck easily.

The picture in my head is almost overwhelming.

Her arms thrown around my neck, mine wrapped around her waist, just a tiny bit of tip-toe action, and our mouths fused together perfectly.

I hear Dr. Rana explain to Jocelyn that Jude has an isolated fracture of the ulna. It’s simple and stable, so it won’t require surgery and won’t affect the growth plate. I know all this already because I saw the x-rays. It’s a clean break. Sixish weeks in a cast and the kid will be sailing the seas with his cardboard sword once more.

“Alright, folks,” Dr. Rana says, “just sit tight in here and someone will be down quickly to get you all set up with a cast.”

“Can he do it?” Jude asks, eyes on me, and I grin wide. He’s such a cute little bugger. At least now I know I didn’t terrify the kid with my word vomit.

“Wish I could, kid,” I say honestly, “but it’s time for me to head out.” Jude’s shoulders slump a little, so I add, “Next time I see you, I’ll sign your cast, okay?”

With that, he perks up and gives me another nose-scrunching grin. “Kay.”

“It was nice to meet you, June,” I say to the quiet girl still folded up on the chair in the corner, then I turn and stick my hand out for her mom. “Jocelyn,” I say as I wrap my hand around hers once more, “it’s been a pleasure.”

“Thanks for your help today,” she says, her lips quirking up into a small smile, and my gaze latches on to the movement. It’s not until Dr. Rana clears her throat, that I drop Jocelyn’s hand and step back.

“Anytime,” I say honestly, resisting the urge to wink at her. I nod quickly at Dr. Rana, avert my eyes, and then book it out of the room.