“I love you, too, Mom. Let me see what I can do.”
Call ended, she took another sip of coffee, and another, even as she rubbed her eyes, drying them.
She loved teaching and her students, but she’d never loved anyone, or anything, as much as she loved being a mom.
And now her beautiful, smart, kind, loving, ambitious daughters were gone.
Just as they were meant to be.
But my God, it still hurt, letting them go.
A half hour later, still flustered, Paige turned on the TV and did a search for Jack’s Population Dynamics show. She might as well go in prepared for this afternoon’s meeting. She went to season one, episode one, thinking she’d watch a few minutes, maybe the one episode, but ended up watching the entire season.
It was lunchtime when she finished, and Paige turned off the TV and sat still on her couch. Wow.
He’d grown up. Nicely, too. She could see why his show was popular. Jack was engaging and charismatic. And still incredibly good-looking. As well as fit. Dr. Jack King was built—at least in season one. His muscles rippled as he hiked, dug, climbed, jumped, swam, splashed, and stripped down to shorts for a quick dip in a watering hole that may or may not have had a hippo in it. Adult Jack, fifty-year-old Jack, was fascinating, witty, appealing. His accent alone made her a little breathless. It shouldn’t have.
She hadn’t realized that population dynamics had traditionally been a branch of mathematical biology, a study dating back over two hundred years, but it only took Jack a few minutes explaining how population was affected by three dynamic rate functions, and she understood why math was so important to his science. Everything he did in his work was based on math and statistics.
So, why was she needed to team teach?
Why didn’t he just teach the entire course—math and science—himself?
* * *
Two hours later Paige was kicking herself as she drove north from Dana Point to Mission Viejo. She shouldn’t have watched Jack’s show, never mind the entire season one. It was one thing to binge on a thriller, but not smart to watch episode after episode starring the scientist she was supposed to work with this semester.
She was nervous and she didn’t like being nervous. She liked calm, control. But everything in her felt unsettled and undone. She was going to have to fake it today, but that wouldn’t be hard. She’d faked her way through much of life to ensure those around her were happy, secure. She’d hidden her own unhappiness during the last ten years of her marriage so that her girls didn’t have to worry, much less worry about her. Her job as the mother was to protect the girls, not the other way around. Her own mother had needed so much from her that Paige had vowed she’d be a different kind of mother, and she had been.
Paige arrived early at the Bean Box, their meeting spot just off campus. The Bean Box tended to be busy all the time, but she was lucky to discover an empty table inside by the tinted window. She set her lavender leather tote down in a chair and went to order an iced coffee. While in line she got a ping and, checking her phone, saw a text from Andi, Dr. Nair’s secretary. Due to unforeseen circumstances, Dr. Nair wasn’t going to be able to make the meeting this afternoon. He was very sorry and asked her to pass on his apologies to Dr. King.
Paige’s heart sank. She texted Andi back. Please tell me he’s not sitting in his office avoiding this meeting.
I don’t know if he’s avoiding the meeting,Andi texted back.
Paige glared at the phone. Which meant that Dr. Nair was in his office. She slipped her phone away. This was not how the day was supposed to go.
But it’s fine, she told herself, smashing the wave of irritation. She’d be fine. Back at her table she checked email, scanned the news, and killed time until Jack King arrived. She also kept compulsively watching the door and glancing at the time, but no, Dr. King wasn’t late yet. She was just anxious.
And then, the tinted glass door swung open and Jack King entered the Bean Box. He paused just inside the door to get his bearings, giving her a moment to study him. He carried a beat-up backpack and wore jeans and a white linen collared shirt, sleeves rolled up on his forearms. It was impossible not to recognize him. He looked exactly like he did on TV—only taller, more polished, more vital.
As he peeled off his sunglasses to glance around the coffeehouse, she rose from the table and lifted a hand.
His brow furrowed slightly as he approached. “Dr. Hagopian?”
“No, Dr. Newsome,” she said, extending her hand. “Call me Paige.”
“Paige?” he repeated, expression slightly puzzled as he took her hand, his fingers wrapping around hers, his grip strong, skin warm, his accent making her pulse quicken ever so slightly. Or was it that tingle in her hand where his palm touched hers?
She quickly pulled her hand away and forced a small smile. “Dr. Hagopian couldn’t be here. I’m filling in for her.”
“Good of you,” he said with a quick smile.
Her insides felt wobbly. “I had expected Dr. Nair to be here, but he’s cancelled on us at the last moment.”
“What about Dr. Rakovski?” Jack asked, referencing the science department chair.
“I didn’t know he was supposed to be here.”
“Not a problem,” Jack answered easily. “We’ll get more done without them. Do you need a coffee or tea?”
She shook her head, self-consciously tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “I got here a bit early, so I’m all set.”
“Let me grab a drink and I’ll be back.”
Heart thumping, she watched him walk away. He didn’t remember her. Wow. Okay. Paige should have been glad. It’s what she’d wanted, and yet it stung.
She took a breath, trying to calm her racing pulse, but looking at Jack didn’t help. But she couldn’t stop looking. His shirtsleeves were rolled up on his forearms, revealing more tan skin. Her gaze slowly swept over him, shifting from his arms to his shoulders to his lean waist and then to his butt. He had a good butt. She could see it naked, the moonlight of Paris illuminating that magnificent body of his. She flushed, glanced away, trying to put the vision of a naked Jack from her mind.
She never ogled the men she taught with. She barely noticed them. At least, not physically. They were her colleagues. Her peers. That’s it. But Jack . . .
He returned with a hot green tea and sat down across from her. He ran fingers through his thick hair, moving it off his high forehead. “I might need you to help me out here. I thought I was teaching with a Dr. Hagopian.”
“You were.” She glanced from his thick sun-streaked hair to his eyes. They had gold in them as well. She’d forgotten that. Paige swallowed hard, forced herself to focus. “Dr. Hagopian had a sudden health issue come up and had to take an unexpected leave of absence this semester. I would have thought one of the department chairs would have told you.”
“Dr. Rakovski did email that he wanted to discuss a few things with me, but I haven’t had a chance to call him. But it’s fine. I hope Dr. Hagopian is okay.”
“Me too. And I’m sorry I had to break the bad news to you. I thought Dr. Nair would be here today, and he had an emergency pop up. This isn’t the norm, though. Orange is a wonderful school.”
“I’m not worried. Things happen, and Dr. Hagopian and I exchanged a few emails, but that was it.” Jack paused, looking at her intently. “You remind me of someone.”
“I hear that all the time.”
Silence stretched for a long moment. Paige struggled not to wiggle.
“When did you find out you’d be taking over from Dr. Hagopian?” he asked, finally breaking the quiet.
“Yesterday.”
“Just yesterday?”
“It was a little bit of a shock,” she admitted.
“Did they take a class away from you?”
“No. But I’ll be fine. I’ve had heavy loads before. One extra class won’t kill me.”
Jack gave her a sympathetic smile. “Do you know very much about the course we’ll be teaching?”
“No.”
“You are a good sport, aren’t you?”