Flirting with Fifty

Chapter 6

Paige didn’t sleep well. The migraines left her flattened and then guilt nibbled at her conscience, making it difficult to fall asleep and stay asleep. Deception was never a good plan. She regretted starting off with Jack as she had. She should have welcomed him as a long-lost friend instead of acting like she had no memory. So stupid.

She took a shower, an extra-long shower, and needed a second cup of coffee before she felt together enough to meet the day.

Elizabeth texted to let Paige know she was leaving her house to pick Paige up, and then texted again fifteen minutes later that she was outside. Paige gathered her briefcase, lunch bag, and keys. She hesitated on her doorstep, making sure she’d also brought pain killers. She had.

“How are you feeling?” Elizabeth asked as Paige slid into the passenger seat.

“Better.”

“Head still sensitive?”

Paige nodded before buckling up and adjusting her sunglasses. “Not as bad as it was. Just the lingering aftermath. Just wish I’d gotten more done all weekend.”

“Did Jack come by?”

“He brought me a sandwich.”

“He is so nice. I really like him.”

Paige pressed her lips together, not a fan of the subject. Jack’s visit yesterday had been incredibly uncomfortable. It was mortifying to be called out. He’d been polite, but it had still been awkward, and after he’d left she couldn’t think about anything else.

Elizabeth shot her a side glance as she shifted into drive. “You’re quiet.”

“Just relaxing.”

“You don’t have to work constantly. You can take time off. Take a sick day.”

“But then I’ll get behind.”

“Not you. You’re always so organized.”

“I just like being on top of things.” Paige was trying hard not to view it as a wasted weekend, but she did measure things in terms of accomplishments and success. The more she got done, the more satisfied she felt. Her work ethic had been an issue for Ted. He made good money himself. He didn’t think she needed to work, but it was her choice, and maybe that was where the resentment came from. That she chose to work, which in his mind, meant she chose to put him second. It wasn’t that way, but he’d been raised by a mom who didn’t work, and for him, a working wife was almost a criticism of him as a man and a provider.

He’d never understood that she worked because it made her feel accomplished, that she thrived on challenge and loved feeling competent.

She sighed, and Elizabeth glanced at her again.

“Something happen? Is your mom okay? Girls okay?” Elizabeth asked.

“Nothing happened. Just thinking.”

“About?”

“Ted.”

“Oh, Paige. Why do that to yourself?”

“Good question. But speaking of the girls, Ashley has a big audition this morning. I keep checking my phone, looking for an update. I hope she gets at least a callback.”

“She’s so talented, she will,” Elizabeth said firmly.

Paige smiled. She loved Elizabeth’s faith. “How is everyone at your house?”

“My adult two are good, but the twins, that’s a whole different ball game.”

Paige’s lips curved. Elizabeth’s twins were hilarious. And a lot of work. Paige adored them but, at the same time, was grateful they weren’t hers.

Elizabeth’s smile turned wry. “I sometimes envy you, with your girls grown-up and self-sufficient. And then I also wonder if I’ll ever be there. I’m still in the middle of homework hell, and emails from teachers regarding my inadequacy as a parent.”

“That’s only because you had a second set of babies who are gorgeous and gorgeously full of life.”

“Oh, very full of life. And if only we could socialize our little animals, we’d be good. I dread the calls and emails letting me know that once again Justin has not kept his hands to himself, and Jason has been disrespectful at Mass, splashing holy water onto other kids instead of making the sign of the cross.” Elizabeth grimaced. “What was I thinking, having more kids?”

“That you loved your new husband and wanted to grow your family.” Paige patted Elizabeth’s arm. “You’re doing great. It’s just the age. Fourth grade is a hard year.”

“Last Thursday I got an email from their teacher asking if I read to my kids, because they were struggling with reading.” She shook her head. “Do I read to them? My God, I’m an English professor. I’ve been reading them everything from Dr. Seuss to Dickens since birth.”

“The boys can read. They’re probably just not applying themselves, which is natural. They’re energetic.”

“That’s a polite way of saying little beasts.”

Paige laughed. “Your husband is full of life. Your kids are. They will be fine. And I think your boys are wonderful. Don’t stress. Especially since we both know they won’t be little forever.”

Elizabeth nodded. “When are you going to head to Paso Robles again? I’m thinking of heading home in a few weeks to see Dad. Didn’t know if you’d want to drive up together.”

“That might be a good idea. I haven’t been home for a while, and I know Mom would like to see me.”

“Especially with your birthday coming up.” Elizabeth gave her a meaningful look. “It being the big one.”

Paige laughed, as she was meant to. “Fifty isn’t the big one.”

“That’s probably true. I found thirty the hardest so far,” Elizabeth answered. “It’s such a shock. One day you’re young, and then the next day, you’re middle-aged.”

“Thirty isn’t middle-aged.”

“No, but when you’re a kid you think thirty is old.”

“Fortunately, we haven’t been kids for a long time.” Paige fell silent for a moment, thinking, because it was true. She hadn’t felt young in forever. She couldn’t even remember very well what young felt like. “You know, I didn’t mind turning thirty, but forty was tough. Everything about forty was hard. I’d never do that one again.” Paige had still been married then, still trying to work and smile and act like she wasn’t dead on the inside. It had taken so much energy just to keep the mask on, just to survive each day.