Chapter 13
Paige slept curled against him, and he held her, his arm around her waist. He didn’t sleep deeply, too aware of her there at his side. He felt so many different emotions, too. He felt protective of Paige, wanting the best for her, wanting her happiness, wanting to shield her from hurt and harm. And yet, at the same time, he also felt deeply calm, as if everything had clicked into place. Jack couldn’t remember when he’d last felt this way—if ever.
His life had been a quest—find answers, find truth, educate, create change, save species, protect the environment, save the world—it was an endless quest, at times exhausting as the work was never done, and there was never a point he could stop, truly rest. But having Paige close, he felt a peace that usually escaped him. It was almost as if she was a reward for a life well lived. She was a blessing . . . a gift. He wasn’t going to lose her. Not over sex. Not over careers. Not over a miscommunication.
He’d never come between her and her daughters, but he could give her something her daughters couldn’t: he could hold her through the night, kiss her good morning, laugh with her—or grieve with her—through challenges and changes.
They weren’t old, but they weren’t kids, either. They didn’t have seventy-five years ahead of them. There might be forty. There might be fewer. That wasn’t the point. The point was they were meant to live, and embrace the changes ahead, good as well as bad.
Jack knew he wasn’t perfect. He could be a self-absorbed, self-centered SOB, but he was tough, and determined, and he was good for Paige. He believed that. But did she?
* * *
Paige struggled the next day to get work done. She was busy filling out information for the university on her classes for the Spring semester. She wasn’t ready to think about next semester, knowing she wouldn’t be teaching with Jack, knowing they’d have very different schedules, knowing she wouldn’t see him at school as often. She ought to ask him what his semester looked like, what days he thought he’d be on campus. Not that she could change her schedule any, but just so she knew.
Thinking of Jack took her back to last night, sleeping with him. Kissing him. Having that amazing O fully dressed. Jack was a man of many skills. And how she loved the way he kissed. Kissing him was intoxicating. Addictive. He made her feel delicious. Every part of her shivered with delight.
She missed him when he wasn’t with her. Like today, she felt empty without him. Bereft. She knew she’d see him in a couple hours, but that still seemed so far away.
What she felt for him was pretty big. Pretty intense. Bordering on consuming. She feared what she felt, though, as falling in love could potentially change everything and she wasn’t sure she was ready for change. Big change. She liked her life the way it was. She liked her world, and the routine, and the safety. And yet, love was important. As a mom, Paige knew that. But it’d been a very long time since she’d felt any desire to love anyone else. Family was family, but to love a man . . . ? To put her heart out there?
To open her heart?
To allow significant change into her life?
But holding Jack’s hand, and seeing his smile, having him tease her, and sharing moments like the early morning drive in Yellowstone yesterday where they watched the sun rise, and then slowed for the big buffalo walking slowly along the side of the road . . . those moments created other moments, new moments that made her feel new.
Made her feel young.
Made her want to open her arms wide to the future and say, Hello life, I’m coming for you.
But then she thought of her girls, and the small, safe world they’d created together. She’d promised to always be there for them, devoted to them, and she’d keep that promise. But she didn’t know where that left Jack. She didn’t know if Jack fit in with them.
After lunch, Paige gave up trying to work, or enter grades, or answer the emails still sitting in her inbox demanding attention.
Instead, she sat outside on the edge of the stone firepit soaking up the sunshine and watching a white-striped chipmunk chase another. It was cool enough she needed a sweatshirt over a long sleeve T-shirt. The chipmunks had tiny stripes on their faces, making them look like bandits, and they seemed to be having the best time.
Paige loved the feel of the sun on her back, and the smell of the grass and trees, the air fresh, clean. She rarely just sat still. She was almost always moving, thinking, doing things. In her world, there was always something to be done. Bills to be paid, estimates to be gotten, questions her daughters had about insurance, car concerns, healthcare. If they’d had a good relationship with their dad, they could have gone to him for things, but instead they came to her, and she was good with that. But it was unusual not to have at least one frantic text a day, and so far, she’d had none. Maybe the girls were good, maybe there were no problems. Or maybe they were respecting her weekend and once she returned home, she’d be hit with everything all at once.
In that case, she’d enjoy the quiet and calm now, as it felt good to have no dramas, no heartbreaks, no problems. It had been a long time since she’d simply sat. Rested.
Paige continued to sit and listen to the chatter of birds, as well as the wind rustling the grass in the meadow across from the cabins. The afternoon sunlight stretched across the cabin roofs. The sun would disappear in the next hour, but the late afternoon’s golden light was magical. She closed her eyes, lifted her face, and focused on her breathing. It was like a yoga class, but better, because there were no uncomfortable poses or stretching. Opening her eyes, she blinked and looked around, wondering where her chipmunks had gone, when she saw a big brown shape appear around a not-so-distant cabin.
Paige’s heart jumped. Was that a—?
Yes.
Yes. It was a bear.
A very large bear with a cub. Paige had no idea if it was a grizzly or black bear. She tried to think of the proper exit strategy, if there was one.
Should she shout? Jump up on the table and wave her arms? Close her eyes and pretend she was dead? Where was the bear spray when she needed it?
Hand shaking, she reached into her pocket and slid her phone out. She texted Jack. Outside. Bear. Help.
She hit send, said a prayer. Paige wasn’t sure Jack would even have his phone handy, nor was she sure he’d pay any attention to a text, should he have it handy.
Seconds later, the sturdy brown door of the cabin closest to her flew open with a bang. Sheila stepped out, talking on the phone, voice loud.
The bear stopped, stiffened, stared at Paige, then looked toward Sheila for a long moment, before turning and disappearing back behind the cabins, the cub chasing after.
Jack and another man dashed from the main cabin. Paige struggled to her feet, legs a quivering mess, but she couldn’t stand, and she sat back down.
She couldn’t believe what had happened.
Sheila had saved her from a bear.
Paige was able to laugh about the bear after Jack joined her. It had been scary, but it was also a great story, and would be a great story to share with her girls when she returned home. However, when one of the park rangers arrived to talk to Paige about the bear, she learned that in the past year several black bears had begun entering tents looking for food, and had bitten one woman, resulting in the bear’s death.
After the ranger departed, Jack remained with Paige for a bit, asking her if she’d like to join him inside. “They’re wrapping up the symposium. I’ll need to say a few words and then some will leave, and the rest of us will have dinner before calling it a night.”
“You go finish up,” she said. “I’ll be fine.”
“You’re going to stay here?”
“No. I’m going to sit on the steps of the dining hall. That way you’ll just be steps away should I need backup.”
The symposium ended, and as Jack said, half of the visiting scientists and professors left, while those with early morning flights remained. Dinner was a Hungarian goulash, and then there was a huckleberry crisp for dessert. Paige spent their last night in Jack’s cabin again, sharing his bed. Tonight, they talked a lot, with Jack telling her about his childhood in Melbourne and the moment he knew he wanted to be a scientist. “I think I imagined one day I’d work with Steve Irwin. We’d go save animals together,” he said, smiling wryly. “I’d be on his show.”
“Instead you have your own show.”
He hesitated. “We’re going to be filming the fourth season soon, over the winter break.”
Paige rolled onto her side, so she could better see him. He was lying on his back, arms behind his head, his soft thermal shirt stretched over his chest. “Is that a new development?”
“It was on the books, and then off the books. There’s been such back-and-forth with budget, and planning, but it was finally green-lit. We’ll have production meetings for a few days, and then we begin filming Christmas week.”
Her heart fell. “You’ll be gone for Christmas?”