KAYLA:I don’t remember you being such a bore last summer
BODI:Last summer I thought I was never going to see you again
KAYLA:You’re such a liar.
BODI:Hardly.
KAYLA:Want me to pull up the text messages you sent me before Friendsgiving?
BODI:You still have those?
KAYLA:Fuck yeah I do. I’m saving them like love letters for when our kids are older.
BODI:We’re not having kids.
KAYLA:You’re hurting Oliver’s feelings.
BODI:Who’s Oliver?
KAYLA:Our future son.
BODI:No fucking way I’m calling my son Oliver.
KAYLA:Why not? It’s supposed to be the favorite boy name in Australia. I thought you’d like that.
BODI:You do realize I have been in the states since I was twelve?
KAYLA:That explains your lack of aussie slang.
BODI:What the hell is aussie slang anyway?
KAYLA:You know, barbie, woop woop, bloke, g’day.
BODI:Did you just google that?
KAYLA:Not the point
BODI:Do you need anything Kayla?
KAYLA:Your dick, but you won’t give it to me.
BODI:You’re not getting my dick.
KAYLA:Fine, I’ll just go find another dick.
BODI:Are you shitting me?
KAYLA:Did I just hear you growl?
BODI:No.
KAYLA:Pretty sure Agnes heard it too LOL.
KAYLA:Jealous?
BODI:Get back to work, Kayla.
Three hours later.
KAYLA:How do you feel about clowns?
BODI:I need more information
KAYLA:For the New Year’s Reception.
BODI:NO.
KAYLA:Acrobats?
BODI:NO.
KAYLA:Fire eater?
BODI:It’s a New Year’s reception. Not a damn circus.
KAYLA:A cotton candy stall then.
BODI:NO.
KAYLA:Oh, come on. You can’t go wrong with cotton candy.
BODI:It’s pure sugar.
KAYLA:Exactly. PURE DELICIOUSNESS. Don’t tell me you don’t eat cotton candy at a carnival.
BODI:I don’t go to the carnival
KAYLA:For a rich motherfucker you’re seriously missing out.
BODI:I’m too busy for kid things.
KAYLA:You did not just trash the carnival. It’s the best thing there is.
BODI:It’s bad food and rides that make you puke.
KAYLA:I don’t see any issues.
KAYLA:I found a carnival not far from here.
BODI:We’re not going to the carnival.
KAYLA:Why not. It can be our second date.
BODI:We never had a first date.
KAYLA:The opinions are divided on that matter.
BODI:Get back to work, Kayla.
She bursts through the door ten seconds later, and I lean back in my chair.
“Seriously, though, what is wrong with a carnival theme?”
“I thought I told you to go back to work?” I’m doing my best to sound reprimanding, scolding. But like always, either I fail miserably, or she really doesn’t give a shit.
She waves her hand in the air, brushing my comment away. “This is work. You told me I needed to plan a reception. That’s what I’m doing.”
Without asking, she plants her ass in the chair in front of my desk, and I exhale in surrender.
“No, you’re organizing a kids’ party.”