“What? I thought those gymnasts were amazing! Did you see how agile she was? She could throw her leg way up here.” Her leg moves into the air while she shoots me a seductive wink.
“Kayla,” I growl her name at least once a day, but after last night, even I can hear how it sounds different. Longing, searing, and desperate as fuck.
“Fine.” Her leg drops, and she throws her hands in the air, placating. “Continue.”
“Last night was… great.” I lean down with my elbows on my knees, rubbing my hands together.
“But?” She drags it out, and I twist my head to look into her gorgeous eyes. If you are about to tell a girl you want nothing more from her than sex, I’d expect to see hurt, contempt, anything that reminds me she’s still young and wants something different than me. But instead, she’s just giving me an encouraging look, as if I’m the only one struggling with this.
“No but. It’s no secret I want you, and after last night, that didn’t change.” I hold still, sucking in a deep breath.
“But?” she repeats, this time with a little more impatience.
“But I don’t want to date.”
“Ouch.” She grips her heart and even though her face is relaxed, I think I see a hint of defeat in her light blue irises staring back at me.
“It’s not you, Kayla,” I explain. “I just don’t date.”
“Ever?”
“Ever,” I confirm.
I lean back into the couch, throwing my legs next to her so that we’re completely mirrored, each in our own corner.
Her head tilts with her curiosity. “Why not?”
It’s a simple question, but the answer is something I’ve never confessed to anyone. Not even Jensen, and the fucker is my best friend. But I decided a long time ago that love isn’t for me. After my mother died, I slowly saw how my father lost his mind, because he lost his heart. I’d rather die with a full conscience than slowly vanish in a body with a mind I can’t control. My mind is everything I have got. It’s what made everything I have possible. My father lost that when he lost my mother and I never want to end like that.
“I’ll tell you if you tell me why you dropped out of Stanford.”
She purses her lips with wide eyes. “No dating. Got it!”
“Good.”
“Good,” she parrots.
We stay quiet, staring into each other’s eyes for way longer than we should, and within a split second, the air changes like it always does. I breathe out through my nose to settle down.
“So,” she starts, “friends with benefits?”
“Are we friends?”
“I hope so?”
“Right.” It’s the only thing I say because I don’t know how to answer. I want to be her friend, but I don’t know if I can be her friend if I’m also sleeping with her. Not to mention the fact that I’m still her boss. It feels like I’m signing up for a lot of confusion.
“Look, I know I mess around with you, because, well, you’re hot.”
I chuckle. “You’re so blunt.”
“BUT,” she continues, “I consider you my friend, Bodi.” She pauses, giving me a tentative look that slices through my chest. “I hope you feel the same.”
“I do,” I breathe out. There is a protectiveness inside of me reserved for her and that makes me believe that I do consider her to be my friend. I want her to be okay. I want her to be happy. “Even though you’re making life hard on me every chance you get.”
“I keep you on your toes. You love it.” She huffs, but it’s followed by a smile that makes my heart expand. “Well, that wasn’t as hard as I thought. Feel better now?”
Her lighthearted attitude about this is something I should be relieved about. I was scared she’d throw a fit or a teenage tantrum, but instead, she’s handling this like a pro, giving me exactly what I want.
Sex without any complications.
But then why do I feel disappointed?
“I guess.” I rake a hand through my hair as I keep staring at her.
She looks gorgeous with her face completely free from make-up, and her brown hair up in a messy bun. Makes me want to cuddle her. Makes me want to kiss her all night long while she’s wrapped in my arms. My eyes fall to her plump lips that’re taunting me with their alluring pink color. When she notices where my attention is, her tongue darts out, and I shift my gaze a little up. Her eyes sparkle at me with a craving that quickly builds my own, the sexual tension filling the space between us as fast as flipping a switch. Our eyes don’t divert for what feels like forever until she rolls her eyes. She tosses the remote to the side with a dull look.
“Are you going to kiss me now?”
“I thought you’d never ask.” I throw my body forward until I’m on top of her and she falls onto her back on the couch. My lips find hers with a hunger that never seems to dry up, and when I feel her tongue press against mine, I let out a ferocious moan. Her fingers snake up to my neck, holding our heads locked with a need that travels all the way through my body to my groin.
“Glad we got that settled,” I murmur against her lips.
My hands explore the soft skin under her t-shirt, and with a lazy look, she pulls it over her head, exposing her braless breasts. Her nipples are rock hard, and I bite my lip before my mouth latches onto them, swirling my tongue while my fingers twitch holding the other one.
“Yeah, great talk,” she hums, followed by a longing cry when I forcefully suck her nipple. Her palm lands on my hard dick that’s dying to spring free and, as if she can read my mind, she yanks my sweats down in one swift move. With her feet, she manages to push them down to my ankles, making it easy to kick them off while she does the same with her shorts. Within a second, she’s lying underneath me, in all her naked glory, and I take a moment to stare at her.
“I don’t have a condom,” I huff.
“I’m on birth control and I’m clean. Are you?”
“Never had unsafe sex.”
Her eyes widen before they darken with lust. “I’m the first who you’ll fuck completely bare?”
I hover above her face, our lips almost touching.
“If you let me,” I whisper.
“Please, Bodi,” she says with a hint of desperation, as if getting rid of that barrier deepens our connection forever.
“You’re so gorgeous.”
She looks back at me with hooded eyes, licking her lips as I trail my finger between her breasts and all the way to her soaked pussy. It’s glistening with her wetness and when I move my hand down to rub my fingers through her folds, she shakes her head, holding my wrist in a tight grip.
A frown lines my forehead in confusion.
“No foreplay. I just want to feel you inside of me. All of you.”